HOPE ON A STRING

I'm in LOVE with this!!  

My cousin's daughter, Katelin, painted this water color for me.  She did such a great job.  Just one of her many talents!  It is a simple but special replica of our family on a day that represents such a special memory for me for many reasons dear to my heart.

To begin with, it was the day our family hiked up above the Bountiful Temple to send off birthday wishes to Sweet Suzie on her "First Birthday Back in Heaven" as I like to called it.  We tied our birthday wishes to the strings of our bright red balloons and sent them afloat heavenward. 

Secondly, this day marked a milestone for me personally to exert myself physically up a rather quick & steep incline to reach the top of the mountainside.  I've spent almost 3 years dealing with many physical health issues that have made exercising, especially outdoors with severe allergies extremely difficult to accomplish.  So making that specific trek on that specific day for me was not only a physical challenge, but an emotionally symbolic day of renewal.  I had spent most the day sobbing and cleansing my heart of all sorts of emotion after the past year of healing from my mother leaving this mortal world.  Our family had also lost my step-father, Dallas, six months after my mom.  Then a short 6 months later, we had the devastation of Dallas's son Mitch and daughter in law Ruth dying in a horrific automobile accident just 2 weeks prior.
Then with enough day light before sunset, I wiped my tears again and let Todd and the kids know it was time to go.  I had purchased the red balloons the day before, on Saturday night.  "For Grandma", I told them.  We even had an extra for Rocky. She liked Rocky!  So off we went.  We drove up to the Temple on that beautiful Sunday afternoon last March. 

As we parked and exited the car, I looked up the side of the hill, letting out a sigh.  Which brings me to the third layer of this day's memory.  The spot we were hiking to above the temple is one of my favorite spots in all the valley.  I spent many days while Todd was on his mission, hiking up there to watch the sun setting across the valley and the Great Salt Lake.  At the time, the temple was still being completed, dedicated and newly opened.  I had yet to receive my endowments.  Needless to say, many thoughts of my future were contemplated while sitting atop that hillside.

I took a deep breath and up we went.  The kids dashed up the backside much more quickly.  Todd stayed by me at my sloth of a pace.  All the while we each carrying our bright red balloons.  The path is rocky and some parts have patches of trees with branches sticking out so we needed to be careful to hold our balloons higher while climbing.  There on the trail, as my tears welled again, with my footing unsure, and my breath deep & heavy,  I continued to climb...with my hope on a string. 

Although it was slow going, we finally reached the top where the promise of that familiar valley was there to greet us in full view!  What a beautiful sight!!  It's like standing on top of the world.  Especially for me, since it had been so long.  In the midst of weathering this difficult season for a few years, it was such a great feeling to be up there.  At that spot.  On that day. 

The kids played around and ran further up through the hilltop meadow.  Todd and I enjoyed the scenery.  I sat on the bench for a moment looking down at the temple.  I was reminded of how Todd had chosen to ask me to marry him while we were at the Bountiful Temple in the celestial room a few months after he returned from his mission.  This being another layer of memories for the occasion.

After a while the kids came trotting back.  The sun was just setting, as we set the camera up to take a few snapshots of our family.

The camera snapped and we all sat there together for a brief moment.  We then wrote our small notes to Grandma Suzie and attached them to our balloons.  Our bright red balloons.  Because red is the color of love.  Red is also the color that was my Grandma Jane's favorite.  Red because for many years the Gardner family would meet at the cemetery with big red balloons for all of us to let go together in memory of Grandpa Hart and Grandma Jane.  So when I asked Todd, the day before, what color of balloons I should get for my mom, with out hesitation he said, "red"!

After we released the balloons, we took a few more beautiful shots of the temple and enjoyed the scenery before heading back down the mountain.

Later that night when I looked at our photos- I smiled.  We weren't dressed up, our hair wasn't combed.  Our sunglasses on.  Oh but what a JOY filled my soul as I saw our small eternal family sitting atop a mount with the sunset across the beautiful valley and an amazing symbol of the everlasting gospel in the background.  This photo was lastly the topping of a monumental day for me.  I had everything I needed.  I realized seeing that picture of our family in my favorite place was a blessing and promise of hope come true.  Not only that, but there I was once again,  trying to let go of sorrows, looking to the future while holding my... hope on a string.

TUCK SORROWS AWAY SOFTLY. 

ENJOY BEAUTY IN THE PRESENT.

  HOPE BRIGHTLY IN THE FUTURE.   

 

As I sit tonight sharing my thoughts, A new layer comes to mind with those beautiful red balloons.  Red is also the color of blood.  The color of the atonement.  Christ shed his blood for us.  For our sins and our sorrows. That we may have JOY and HOPE in him.  I know God lives.  I know Christ is our Savior.  He is our Redeemer.  Through him, families can be together forever.  This life is not the end.  Mortal death is not the end.  It is only a goodbye for now.

While we were watching the sunset and taking pictures, we saw the most beautiful ray of sunlight glistening across the sky.  It was shining right into the spire of the temple.