Sadly, Jared did not get a sandwich from Un Bien, which I'm pretty sure was his main reason for flying all the way to Seattle. It just means he'll have to come back.
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
We Heart Uncle Jared
The kids always get so excited when Uncle Jared comes to town - this year Uncle Jared brought a friend, which was a nice surprise - we always love to show Seattle to people who have never visited. The kids had a blast playing and drawing with him, riding him like a horse, going to delicious local restaurants, and maybe slightly less fun on a rainy trip to Pike Place Market yesterday. He is always so patient with them, and does an excellent job negotiating with Austin when necessary. And of course, he and Jason always enjoy swapping crazy-client-lawyer-stories.
The trip ended today, but not before we had gone to India Bistro, and Portage Bay Café. The grown-ups got to get out last night and see Rogue One, which absolutely did not disappoint. We also took a walk through the Locks this morning before their flight left.
Sadly, Jared did not get a sandwich from Un Bien, which I'm pretty sure was his main reason for flying all the way to Seattle. It just means he'll have to come back.
Sadly, Jared did not get a sandwich from Un Bien, which I'm pretty sure was his main reason for flying all the way to Seattle. It just means he'll have to come back.
Blub-Blub's Adventures
(I wrote about Nathan's beloved Blub-Blub in a blog post about a year-and-a-half ago HERE for back-story if anyone is in need of a refresher.)
Jason told me a couple weeks ago that he had an idea of something he wanted to do for Christmas and I thought it was totally unique, totally genius, and really thoughtful. He claims to get a thoughtful-gift-idea about every three years. I think he should give himself a little more credit than that. Gift-giving is not natural to him, but when he does put thought into it, it usually blows my mind.
A couple days later, Nathan was climbing into bed and was a bit panicked about the fact that he couldn't find Blub-Blub. Jason pulled me aside and told me that the had secretly "borrowed" Blub-Blub and he would be back in a week or so. I had to come up with something to tell Nathan so he wouldn't freak out. I told him that I couldn't tell him where Blub-Blub was currently, but that he was safe and would return, most likely with a story of grand adventures. That oddly satisfied Nathan and he didn't worry about it, or mention it anymore after that.
On Christmas Eve, Blub-Blub returned to Nathan via Uncle Jared along with a note that was, as Uncle Jared was astonished to admit, delivered by a sea turtle.
Here is the story that Blub-Blub returned with:
"Sometimes in the annals of fish history, sustaining truth and liberty require that a fish leave hearth and home to fight for the cause of right and justice. I had to leave you these past two weeks for the good of fish-manity and humanity. Here is my tale of deeds and battle:
"I, Blub-Blub, was called upon to engage in a perilous mission to save fish and humankind. For many years, the cold-blooded colossal squids of the Southern Seas have waged war upon the peaceful denizens of the deep. We have depended upon our brave guardians, the sperm whales, to sacrifice themselves by diving deep to consume the colossal squids in their own territory. Unfortunately, the whaling ships have exacted a grievous toll on the ranks of sperm whales. As the sperm whale population diminished, they were unable to reduce the numbers of the cold-blooded colossal squids of the Southern Seas. Their numbers grew beyond counting and they plotted the utter destruction of all other life.
"We learned through a brave spy that the colossal squids were not content only with the destruction of the denizens of the deep, but were developing new technology: land walking legs that would enable them to carry out their destructive designs on land as well as in the seas!
"I knew that I had to act. I left my comfortable home in Ballard and traveled far across the ocean to the Southern Seas. Deeper and deeper I dove - deeper than I had ever gone before, evading the nets and traps set by the cold-blooded colossal squids.
"At long last, I came to the colossal squid fortress at the bottom of the deepest trench in the Southern Sea. By stealth, I entered the fortress, keeping to the shadows. From the shadows, I watched with dismay as the grand council of cold-blooded colossal squids met to plot the destruction of all other life. They were huge creatures, much larger than the common cold-blooded colossal squids, some approaching 20 feet in length with arms nearly 40 feet long, topped with vicious hooks. I watched as the colossal squids tested their new land-walking legs. I saw, to my horror, that they were fully operational.
"Realizing that there was no time to lose, I sprang into action. With a powerful flip of my fins, I rushed in. I employed my lightning, blasting through the assembled ranks of the grand council of colossal squids. Focusing my lightning into a powerful beam, I slashed through the land-walking legs, melting the steel devices into a bubbling, liquid mass. The colossal squids scattered in confusion, unprepared for the speed of my attack.
"When my work was done, I fled the colossal squid fortress, before they could recover from their surprise. I swam as fast as I could, hoping to return to Ballard before Christmas Day, but there were many miles to go and I feared that I might not make it in time.
"I cannot tell all of my adventures at this time, but I assure you that we will not be invaded by land-walking colossal squids at this time.
"It's nice to be home,
Blub-Blub"
As it turns out, in honor of Blub-Blub's bravery, the Australian premier had a special sculpture of him commissioned out of glass. It showed up on Christmas morning with a very official-looking document, sealed with wax and everything.
The letter says:
"Colin Barnett, Premier of the Government of Western Australia, on this the nineteenth of December, in the year of our Lord two-thousand-sixteen, hereby commends Blub Blub for services performed in defense of Perth, Australia.
"The enclosed statue was commissioned by the Western Government of Australia, and created by renowned Aboriginal sculptor Yvonne Koolmatrie, in honour of your courage and bravery in putting your own life at risk to save so many lives."
A couple things strike me with this whole entire story and the final product: 1) How much fun it is when Jared comes to town and he and Jason can collaborate in doing thrilling and imaginative things for the kids. It was so fun to watch this project come to life with lots of google research, and a wax baby-bel cheese wrapper. 2) How much Jason really puts his heart into these gifts when he comes up with them. He tracked down a local glass studio and had this commissioned, and as silly as it sounds to immortalize a stuffed animal fish, it means a whole lot to all of us. It is a symbol of imagination, and boyhood, and all that Nathan has been through (Blub-Blub has accompanied him on his last couple hospitalizations). This little glass fish made Christmas feel extra special.
Jason told me a couple weeks ago that he had an idea of something he wanted to do for Christmas and I thought it was totally unique, totally genius, and really thoughtful. He claims to get a thoughtful-gift-idea about every three years. I think he should give himself a little more credit than that. Gift-giving is not natural to him, but when he does put thought into it, it usually blows my mind.
A couple days later, Nathan was climbing into bed and was a bit panicked about the fact that he couldn't find Blub-Blub. Jason pulled me aside and told me that the had secretly "borrowed" Blub-Blub and he would be back in a week or so. I had to come up with something to tell Nathan so he wouldn't freak out. I told him that I couldn't tell him where Blub-Blub was currently, but that he was safe and would return, most likely with a story of grand adventures. That oddly satisfied Nathan and he didn't worry about it, or mention it anymore after that.
On Christmas Eve, Blub-Blub returned to Nathan via Uncle Jared along with a note that was, as Uncle Jared was astonished to admit, delivered by a sea turtle.
Here is the story that Blub-Blub returned with:
"Sometimes in the annals of fish history, sustaining truth and liberty require that a fish leave hearth and home to fight for the cause of right and justice. I had to leave you these past two weeks for the good of fish-manity and humanity. Here is my tale of deeds and battle:
"I, Blub-Blub, was called upon to engage in a perilous mission to save fish and humankind. For many years, the cold-blooded colossal squids of the Southern Seas have waged war upon the peaceful denizens of the deep. We have depended upon our brave guardians, the sperm whales, to sacrifice themselves by diving deep to consume the colossal squids in their own territory. Unfortunately, the whaling ships have exacted a grievous toll on the ranks of sperm whales. As the sperm whale population diminished, they were unable to reduce the numbers of the cold-blooded colossal squids of the Southern Seas. Their numbers grew beyond counting and they plotted the utter destruction of all other life.
"We learned through a brave spy that the colossal squids were not content only with the destruction of the denizens of the deep, but were developing new technology: land walking legs that would enable them to carry out their destructive designs on land as well as in the seas!
"I knew that I had to act. I left my comfortable home in Ballard and traveled far across the ocean to the Southern Seas. Deeper and deeper I dove - deeper than I had ever gone before, evading the nets and traps set by the cold-blooded colossal squids.
"At long last, I came to the colossal squid fortress at the bottom of the deepest trench in the Southern Sea. By stealth, I entered the fortress, keeping to the shadows. From the shadows, I watched with dismay as the grand council of cold-blooded colossal squids met to plot the destruction of all other life. They were huge creatures, much larger than the common cold-blooded colossal squids, some approaching 20 feet in length with arms nearly 40 feet long, topped with vicious hooks. I watched as the colossal squids tested their new land-walking legs. I saw, to my horror, that they were fully operational.
"Realizing that there was no time to lose, I sprang into action. With a powerful flip of my fins, I rushed in. I employed my lightning, blasting through the assembled ranks of the grand council of colossal squids. Focusing my lightning into a powerful beam, I slashed through the land-walking legs, melting the steel devices into a bubbling, liquid mass. The colossal squids scattered in confusion, unprepared for the speed of my attack.
"When my work was done, I fled the colossal squid fortress, before they could recover from their surprise. I swam as fast as I could, hoping to return to Ballard before Christmas Day, but there were many miles to go and I feared that I might not make it in time.
"I cannot tell all of my adventures at this time, but I assure you that we will not be invaded by land-walking colossal squids at this time.
"It's nice to be home,
Blub-Blub"
As it turns out, in honor of Blub-Blub's bravery, the Australian premier had a special sculpture of him commissioned out of glass. It showed up on Christmas morning with a very official-looking document, sealed with wax and everything.
"Colin Barnett, Premier of the Government of Western Australia, on this the nineteenth of December, in the year of our Lord two-thousand-sixteen, hereby commends Blub Blub for services performed in defense of Perth, Australia.
"The enclosed statue was commissioned by the Western Government of Australia, and created by renowned Aboriginal sculptor Yvonne Koolmatrie, in honour of your courage and bravery in putting your own life at risk to save so many lives."
Monday, December 26, 2016
Christmas Eve/Christmas Day
This year, we were privileged to host Jared and Karley for the Christmas holiday. It was nice to spend the holidays with family from both sides, and few things warm my heart like Jason and Jared together.
For Christmas Eve, we went had a lovely brunch at my mom's place. We enjoyed food, a nice view of Lake Washington, and Grandma Nancy's presents.
After we got home, I took Jared and Karley on a quick trip around town to see a couple of postcard Seattle views and the Fremont Troll.
Then we came home and had our annual Shepherd's dinner, by the light of the Christmas tree, and a burning Darth Vader yule-log. The kids really love the addition of the game hens (I like to think that shepherds must have eaten small birds occasionally in their travels). They all ate an amazing amount of food.
After the kids were all snug in their beds, Santa left their loot. (Yes, that is a stuffie-taco.)
Christmas morning, the older two woke up at about 7:30 and waited a whole 15 minutes before dragging Christian out of bed to look at presents. I love that every year, some kid of mine needs to be woken up - it's kind of the best.
(SOOOO excited about the red dinosaur and red snake!)
(This kid was ridiculously excited to get a box of Bean Boozleds. Truly a gross experience.)
Because we had morning church, we decided to have the kids only open stockings before church, and then wait until after to open the rest. They were incredibly good-natured about it, and it worked out well. After a really lovely church service (they combined wards and we met at 10am which was perfect - I SO miss 10am church), we came home and opened gifts.
Christian's RED wishes came true. Austin got tons of tanks, soldiers, and markers. Nathan got that long-wished-for Wii U. It was a great Christmas for all.
(Uncle Jared reading Christian's new book Nobody Likes a Goblin.)
After a couple hours at home, we all headed down to my grandparents' for their annual Christmas dinner. It was a nice evening watching the sun set over Puget Sound, playing some UNO, chatting with relatives, eating lots of cookies, and opening even more presents.
There's a story behind this gift. My grandparents' old neighbors used to feed the squirrels, thus attracting zillions of squirrels, who would then do a number on my grandparents' yard, leaving peanut shells everywhere. My grandpa got fed up and decided to do something about it. He started trapping squirrels and then he would DRIVE THEM TO A PARK A FEW MILES AWAY. Don't I have the coolest grandpa??? So we have all been mercilessly teasing him about squirrels for years now. He has all sorts of squirrel memorabilia and this was just an addition for his collection. I so love this guy.
Austin was super excited about getting a Picturepedia because it is "a book about EVERYTHING!" He sat on my mom's lap and read her page after page. I love how he loves her and I love how patient and understanding she is with him. They have such a special bond.
And just like that, it's all over. So much work leading up to it, and then it's just finished. And we are back to real life. Sort of sad, but it was a good holiday and a wonderful distraction from current events.
For Christmas Eve, we went had a lovely brunch at my mom's place. We enjoyed food, a nice view of Lake Washington, and Grandma Nancy's presents.
Then we came home and had our annual Shepherd's dinner, by the light of the Christmas tree, and a burning Darth Vader yule-log. The kids really love the addition of the game hens (I like to think that shepherds must have eaten small birds occasionally in their travels). They all ate an amazing amount of food.
Because we had morning church, we decided to have the kids only open stockings before church, and then wait until after to open the rest. They were incredibly good-natured about it, and it worked out well. After a really lovely church service (they combined wards and we met at 10am which was perfect - I SO miss 10am church), we came home and opened gifts.
Christian's RED wishes came true. Austin got tons of tanks, soldiers, and markers. Nathan got that long-wished-for Wii U. It was a great Christmas for all.
After a couple hours at home, we all headed down to my grandparents' for their annual Christmas dinner. It was a nice evening watching the sun set over Puget Sound, playing some UNO, chatting with relatives, eating lots of cookies, and opening even more presents.
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Gingerbread Creations
The theme of the holidays this year is: I don't have time to do it all! For whatever reason, we just keep running out of time to do a lot of the things we normally do, and I'm not quite sure why.
I did promise the kids they could make gingerbread creations, though, so we at least had to get that done. While driving around today running errands, I asked the kids what they were going to make. Nathan said a fort, Austin said a house (always very traditional, that one), and Christian very randomly said, "a dinosaur!" After contemplating telling him we couldn't do a gingerbread dinosaur, I thought about it for a minute, and realized I actually *could* figure out how to do a gingerbread dinosaur, and why shouldn't I? The thing I am feeling a lot this holiday season (aside from rushed) is the holidays with little children slipping away quickly. I have no idea how many more years there will be of ridiculous requests like this, so I decided to live with no regrets and make his dreams come true. I am an architect, after all, and I know how to think three-dimensionally.
So, I rolled out a lot of dough, cut out a lot of shapes, and constructed the basic structure of each of their requests. Then I made cookies out of the rest of it. And they had a blast decorating with gloppy royal icing, and lots of candy. It was a SIX-HOUR project (sigh), but in the end, I have no regrets about it. We have done so few festive activities this season, that I figured I could afford this one.
(Thank you, hot glue gun.)
Notice anything odd in here? Christian was very insistent that we needed dinosaurs in the mix.
Christian said all the candy on the dinosaur was armor. Everything is about battle with this kid.
I think these two creations are so representative of their personalities. Nathan is such an abstract-thinker, and Austin is such a concrete-thinker.
I did promise the kids they could make gingerbread creations, though, so we at least had to get that done. While driving around today running errands, I asked the kids what they were going to make. Nathan said a fort, Austin said a house (always very traditional, that one), and Christian very randomly said, "a dinosaur!" After contemplating telling him we couldn't do a gingerbread dinosaur, I thought about it for a minute, and realized I actually *could* figure out how to do a gingerbread dinosaur, and why shouldn't I? The thing I am feeling a lot this holiday season (aside from rushed) is the holidays with little children slipping away quickly. I have no idea how many more years there will be of ridiculous requests like this, so I decided to live with no regrets and make his dreams come true. I am an architect, after all, and I know how to think three-dimensionally.
So, I rolled out a lot of dough, cut out a lot of shapes, and constructed the basic structure of each of their requests. Then I made cookies out of the rest of it. And they had a blast decorating with gloppy royal icing, and lots of candy. It was a SIX-HOUR project (sigh), but in the end, I have no regrets about it. We have done so few festive activities this season, that I figured I could afford this one.
13th Anniversary of our First Date
As crazy as it sounds, it is always easier for Jason and I to celebrate the anniversary of our first date during the holidays, than our wedding anniversary which is around Labor Day. We always try to make a point of getting out in December. This year was #13.
We tried out a new restaurant in Capitol Hill called Poppy. It was kind of Indian-fusion and it was really great. We also ordered strange drinks. I had something akin to limeade with pureed fresh basil, and Jason had a honey ginger ale. Here is my cheesy "cheers!" photo.
After dinner, we went to see the Northwest Boychoir at St. Mark's Episcopal Cathedral. I have always wanted to go into that cool church which is perched up on an eastern hill overlooking Lake Union and it didn't disappoint inside. That rose window is a pretty spectacular backdrop and the acoustics are great in there.
I honestly can't remember the last time we went on a real, actual date - probably our anniversary back in September, so it felt really good and really adult-y to get out together and just be us. I'm really glad we had that first date way back when.
We tried out a new restaurant in Capitol Hill called Poppy. It was kind of Indian-fusion and it was really great. We also ordered strange drinks. I had something akin to limeade with pureed fresh basil, and Jason had a honey ginger ale. Here is my cheesy "cheers!" photo.
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
Snowbirds Return Briefly
My grandparents come back for about a week every year at Christmas - just long enough to celebrate the holidays, host Christmas dinner, and then back to warmer their warmer locale.
This year, the boys were so excited to see them. We spent a couple of hours at their house delivering a pie requested by my grandpa since they had missed Thanksgiving with us all, and to visit.
Nathan had the honor of getting to look through Christmas cards of total strangers with my grandma (a rite of passage), and my grandparents got hugs so enthusiastic, they almost knocked them over. We are so glad to have them around and doing well. It is an absolute privilege and blessing that my kids have such young, healthy great-grandparents.
This year, the boys were so excited to see them. We spent a couple of hours at their house delivering a pie requested by my grandpa since they had missed Thanksgiving with us all, and to visit.
Nathan had the honor of getting to look through Christmas cards of total strangers with my grandma (a rite of passage), and my grandparents got hugs so enthusiastic, they almost knocked them over. We are so glad to have them around and doing well. It is an absolute privilege and blessing that my kids have such young, healthy great-grandparents.
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Nathan's poetry
Nathan's teacher emailed the parents a PDF that had poems by each child in the class inspired by our recent snowfall. Here is Nathan's:
Here's the thing about Nathan: While this is definitely funny and gross, I honestly believe he didn't mean for it to be either. I think he was genuinely just telling something memorable about the snow.
Another example:
His class made little coupon books to give as a gift to their families. This was one of Nathan's. It provided me with a great laugh, for sure, but when I asked him about it, he was in earnest. He explained that at school when he goes into the bathroom, he always makes sure all the toilets have been flushed. My little guy has made himself the school courtesy-flusher. He thought this could be a helpful thing to do at home. What a funny kid.
Another example:
Friday, December 9, 2016
A Weather Event
We haven't had measurable snowfall in Seattle in two years - and honestly, I don't remember that particular snowfall. It must have been incredibly minor. This was minor too, honestly, but the fact that it stuck on the ground long enough to delay school for a couple of hours thrilled us all immensely.
Thursday night, it started snowing around 8pm and by 11pm, there was a nice covering. I went outside in my pajamas and stood in the middle of our dense street all by myself to have a look around. Nobody in my household was awake, and most of the neighborhood was asleep too. So peaceful and pretty.
We had been told by morning it would be raining, so I didn't expect to wake up to it still on the ground. The kids were thrilled, and after breakfast, we put on the best snow clothes we could find, and went out to play. It was incredibly mushy, soggy snow, and it was melting quickly. The kids made the best of it, though, and built some sort of snow-pile. They had a great time shoveling it and moving it around.
Afterwards, we came inside, threw our coats in the dryer, and got ready for school. By the time I drove them to school at 11:30, it was just slush on the roads, and slush on the playground. Yuck. The entire playground was a good inch or two deep in standing water and slush. And I wore the wrong boots. I quickly remembered the reasons I don't like snow very much. Still, it was a fun half-day diversion from real life.
Thursday night, it started snowing around 8pm and by 11pm, there was a nice covering. I went outside in my pajamas and stood in the middle of our dense street all by myself to have a look around. Nobody in my household was awake, and most of the neighborhood was asleep too. So peaceful and pretty.
We had been told by morning it would be raining, so I didn't expect to wake up to it still on the ground. The kids were thrilled, and after breakfast, we put on the best snow clothes we could find, and went out to play. It was incredibly mushy, soggy snow, and it was melting quickly. The kids made the best of it, though, and built some sort of snow-pile. They had a great time shoveling it and moving it around.
Afterwards, we came inside, threw our coats in the dryer, and got ready for school. By the time I drove them to school at 11:30, it was just slush on the roads, and slush on the playground. Yuck. The entire playground was a good inch or two deep in standing water and slush. And I wore the wrong boots. I quickly remembered the reasons I don't like snow very much. Still, it was a fun half-day diversion from real life.
Thursday, December 8, 2016
Santa visit
We usually go see Santa as close to December 1st as possible, but due to schedules and sickness, we didn't make it until today. As such, instead of a 10 minute wait, we had to wait almost an hour. It was totally worth it, though, because the really good Santa was there, and we got some great pictures, and the kids had an excellent conversation with him. This was our 10th visit to the downtown Nordstrom Santa.
It was seriously a perfect visit. All three kids were so totally sweet and so excited to see Santa. I know these years are fleeting, and it felt really special.
Christian asked for a red snake, a red kitty, and a red dog (heaven help me). Austin asked for toy soldiers and the tanks that go with them, and new markers, Nathan desperately wants a Wii U.
After we visited with Santa, we walked a block to the Sheraton to see this year's gingerbread houses. The theme this year was Harry Potter. It wasn't our favorite, but it was pretty cool still. Instead of understanding the theme, because the kids have never seen or read Harry Potter, they enjoyed noticing their favorite candies, crackers, cereals used in the making of the scenes. We even spotted goldfish and triscuits!
It was a lovely, but very cold evening - my favorite of the Christmas outings we take yearly.
It was seriously a perfect visit. All three kids were so totally sweet and so excited to see Santa. I know these years are fleeting, and it felt really special.
Christian asked for a red snake, a red kitty, and a red dog (heaven help me). Austin asked for toy soldiers and the tanks that go with them, and new markers, Nathan desperately wants a Wii U.
After we visited with Santa, we walked a block to the Sheraton to see this year's gingerbread houses. The theme this year was Harry Potter. It wasn't our favorite, but it was pretty cool still. Instead of understanding the theme, because the kids have never seen or read Harry Potter, they enjoyed noticing their favorite candies, crackers, cereals used in the making of the scenes. We even spotted goldfish and triscuits!
It was a lovely, but very cold evening - my favorite of the Christmas outings we take yearly.
Sunday, December 4, 2016
Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
Saturday, we picked out a Christmas tree. Nathan was sick, and Austin didn't want to go, so we chose the second closest tree stand - a few blocks away - and picked the narrowest tree we could find. We have a lovely 7' tree that is only about 3' wide at the base of it - totally brilliant for our tiny living room.
Christian was properly enthusiastic at the tree stand, which adjoins a produce stand. After we picked out a tree, he made us buy 4 cucumbers and the most gigantic apple we've ever seen. Then we went home, and set up the tree.
The kids had a blast decorating, and while I yearn for a classier tree, I was once again grateful for our plastic ornaments. The kids like the "disco ball" ones best.
They have been busy making bead/pipe cleaner candy canes and they are now ALL over our tree in lots of crazy colors and patterns. It's truly a kid's Christmas tree, as it should be. In fact, we even found a hedgehog ornament for our tree this year, as well as a carrot.
Christian was properly enthusiastic at the tree stand, which adjoins a produce stand. After we picked out a tree, he made us buy 4 cucumbers and the most gigantic apple we've ever seen. Then we went home, and set up the tree.
The kids had a blast decorating, and while I yearn for a classier tree, I was once again grateful for our plastic ornaments. The kids like the "disco ball" ones best.
They have been busy making bead/pipe cleaner candy canes and they are now ALL over our tree in lots of crazy colors and patterns. It's truly a kid's Christmas tree, as it should be. In fact, we even found a hedgehog ornament for our tree this year, as well as a carrot.
Monday, November 28, 2016
Thanksgiving week
I had great plans for the week off of school. We were going to go to the Science Center, the zoo - you know, *do* stuff. But it didn't turn out that way. Monday, we were tied up with the IEP meeting until about 11, and then had to pick up Christian from school at 12:30. After that, it became very apparent that the kids didn't want to go anywhere. Tuesday, we had planned to go to the Science Center but somebody had a fever (I can't even remember who now). Wednesday was kind of the same thing - Christian wanted to go to school, so the big boys and I ran some errands in preparation for all the various desserts I needed to make for Thanksgiving.
Thursday, at Thanksgiving, Nathan came down with an ear infection. That killed the idea of going anywhere on Friday. I left Jason home with the kids and went out shopping to get out of the house. Saturday, Nathan was still sick, so I took him to urgent care, which took about 3 hours. Sunday, I stayed home with him. He still wasn't well this morning, so he had to go running errands with me.
Anyway, I am realizing that as much as *I* might want to take the kids out to do fun things with them, the reality is that they are actually gone most of the time during the day, so it's a treat for them to get to stay home. Also, Austin does not do well when we spring an outing on him without prior warning. There are some days when he just isn't able to deal with a chaotic outing like the Science Center, and his logical brain works in such a way that repeatedly going to the zoo doesn't make sense to him. Why go see animals that he's already seen? Why would one do that?
The other funny thing about this break is that Nathan set a goal of reading 200 minutes a day. He didn't quite make it, but he got awfully close. He ended up reading 1200 minutes over about 10 days. He read 8 whole books, and several partial books.
This is giving me pause about Christmas Break. I think we are going to have to come up with a schedule in advance of when we want to go places and do things, leaving lots of downtime.
Sometimes I am surprised at what I am *still* having to learn as the parents of these sweet boys.
As for Thanksgiving itself, it was an interesting day. The boys and Jason went out fishing with my Uncle Mark in the morning. It was incredibly rainy and everyone was very cold and wet after a couple of hours. I was at home baking. The report I got from Jason was that the two younger boys burst into tears when they finally were back in the car on the way to my aunt and uncle's house. My mom said when they all got there (they beat me by a couple hours), Riley (my cousin) helped carry a completely soaked and dripping Christian into the house and he was like a wet doll sort of limp in his arms. I'm somewhat sorry I missed it.
Our dinner was lovely. No politics were discussed, really good food was eaten, and then I had to make a quick exit with Nathan and Austin. Nathan was in a lot of ear pain. Austin was over-stimulated. BUT! The allergy meds and steroids worked wonders on Nathan and for the first time in their house, he didn't have to leave due to an asthma attack. It was amazing!
I have no pictures of dinner (because we never seem to take pictures at Thanksgiving), except of my lovely desserts and the kids baking cookies the night before.
Thursday, at Thanksgiving, Nathan came down with an ear infection. That killed the idea of going anywhere on Friday. I left Jason home with the kids and went out shopping to get out of the house. Saturday, Nathan was still sick, so I took him to urgent care, which took about 3 hours. Sunday, I stayed home with him. He still wasn't well this morning, so he had to go running errands with me.
Anyway, I am realizing that as much as *I* might want to take the kids out to do fun things with them, the reality is that they are actually gone most of the time during the day, so it's a treat for them to get to stay home. Also, Austin does not do well when we spring an outing on him without prior warning. There are some days when he just isn't able to deal with a chaotic outing like the Science Center, and his logical brain works in such a way that repeatedly going to the zoo doesn't make sense to him. Why go see animals that he's already seen? Why would one do that?
The other funny thing about this break is that Nathan set a goal of reading 200 minutes a day. He didn't quite make it, but he got awfully close. He ended up reading 1200 minutes over about 10 days. He read 8 whole books, and several partial books.
This is giving me pause about Christmas Break. I think we are going to have to come up with a schedule in advance of when we want to go places and do things, leaving lots of downtime.
Sometimes I am surprised at what I am *still* having to learn as the parents of these sweet boys.
As for Thanksgiving itself, it was an interesting day. The boys and Jason went out fishing with my Uncle Mark in the morning. It was incredibly rainy and everyone was very cold and wet after a couple of hours. I was at home baking. The report I got from Jason was that the two younger boys burst into tears when they finally were back in the car on the way to my aunt and uncle's house. My mom said when they all got there (they beat me by a couple hours), Riley (my cousin) helped carry a completely soaked and dripping Christian into the house and he was like a wet doll sort of limp in his arms. I'm somewhat sorry I missed it.
Our dinner was lovely. No politics were discussed, really good food was eaten, and then I had to make a quick exit with Nathan and Austin. Nathan was in a lot of ear pain. Austin was over-stimulated. BUT! The allergy meds and steroids worked wonders on Nathan and for the first time in their house, he didn't have to leave due to an asthma attack. It was amazing!
I have no pictures of dinner (because we never seem to take pictures at Thanksgiving), except of my lovely desserts and the kids baking cookies the night before.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Perspective
We've been having a lot of interesting conversations around our household after the election, and before it. It is important to me that my children understand that there are injustices in the world and we need to not ignore them, but name them, before we can do anything about them. Austin's unique perspective combined with Nathan's extensive knowledge of politics/US presidents/US history creates some really interesting conversations. Here are a few interesting ones.
1) I asked Nathan if he had any other favorite presidents besides Jimmy Carter. He thought about it for a minute and then said, "Zachary Taylor." Curious, I asked him why. He said that he found it interesting that he was a general (my kids LOVE generals) during the Mexican/American war. He liked that even though the US was at war with Mexico, General Taylor still treated the Mexicans fairly, and for example, purchased goods from them instead of just taking them.
2) On Sunday, in Austin's Sunday school class, they were apparently talking about service. The discussion somehow moved to public servants and some kid inevitably brought up Donald Trump. Austin brought up the fact that presidents are never all good or all bad. He used the example of Richard Nixon - he was a bad president, but he created the Clean Air Act and the EPA. (Nathan teaches him things, clearly.)
3) I had the two older kids out with me running errands yesterday while Christian was at school. Nathan got a new book recently that is called something to the effect of Presidential Dream Team. It is presidential information under the premise of choosing which presidents' strengths you would choose for the zombie apocalypse. He is absolutely eating this book up. He was showing Austin the picture on the cover which is a very muscular Abe Lincoln. Austin said, "What's the big deal with Lincoln anyway? What makes him SO great? He only did ONE important thing: freeing the slaves." After a quick, "Whoa buddy! That's a big deal!" we had a good talk about how important that one thing was, what it meant to be a slave and how they were treated, how they weren't even considered fully human, and that a lot of people had come before Lincoln who didn't have the courage to do that potentially unpopular thing. Many of the founding fathers were slave owners. Lincoln had a lot of courage and principles to be able to stand up during the Civil War of all times, and free those slaves. Austin made the most amazing connection after this. He was talking about how sometimes black people are treated really badly, and then he's heard me talking a lot about sexism and how women are often on an unfair playing field. He said, "So then black women must have it even worse, right?" Austin's intellectual abilities don't always show up in traditional school measurements, but this kid is sharp and he has impressive critical thinking skills. Where Nathan tends to be very abstract in thought, Austin tends to zero in on the point and the application quickly.
***
We're all trying to sort out the issues here. We're trying to make sense of what is happening in our country right now. What a perfect time for Nathan to develop such an interest in presidents and government. His knowledge of history is really enriching all of our lives.
1) I asked Nathan if he had any other favorite presidents besides Jimmy Carter. He thought about it for a minute and then said, "Zachary Taylor." Curious, I asked him why. He said that he found it interesting that he was a general (my kids LOVE generals) during the Mexican/American war. He liked that even though the US was at war with Mexico, General Taylor still treated the Mexicans fairly, and for example, purchased goods from them instead of just taking them.
2) On Sunday, in Austin's Sunday school class, they were apparently talking about service. The discussion somehow moved to public servants and some kid inevitably brought up Donald Trump. Austin brought up the fact that presidents are never all good or all bad. He used the example of Richard Nixon - he was a bad president, but he created the Clean Air Act and the EPA. (Nathan teaches him things, clearly.)
3) I had the two older kids out with me running errands yesterday while Christian was at school. Nathan got a new book recently that is called something to the effect of Presidential Dream Team. It is presidential information under the premise of choosing which presidents' strengths you would choose for the zombie apocalypse. He is absolutely eating this book up. He was showing Austin the picture on the cover which is a very muscular Abe Lincoln. Austin said, "What's the big deal with Lincoln anyway? What makes him SO great? He only did ONE important thing: freeing the slaves." After a quick, "Whoa buddy! That's a big deal!" we had a good talk about how important that one thing was, what it meant to be a slave and how they were treated, how they weren't even considered fully human, and that a lot of people had come before Lincoln who didn't have the courage to do that potentially unpopular thing. Many of the founding fathers were slave owners. Lincoln had a lot of courage and principles to be able to stand up during the Civil War of all times, and free those slaves. Austin made the most amazing connection after this. He was talking about how sometimes black people are treated really badly, and then he's heard me talking a lot about sexism and how women are often on an unfair playing field. He said, "So then black women must have it even worse, right?" Austin's intellectual abilities don't always show up in traditional school measurements, but this kid is sharp and he has impressive critical thinking skills. Where Nathan tends to be very abstract in thought, Austin tends to zero in on the point and the application quickly.
***
We're all trying to sort out the issues here. We're trying to make sense of what is happening in our country right now. What a perfect time for Nathan to develop such an interest in presidents and government. His knowledge of history is really enriching all of our lives.
Parent/Teacher Conferences and an IEP Meeting
In our school district, the elementary school kids get the week of Thanksgiving off of school, and that is when Parent/Teacher conferences are scheduled. It's also the time of year that Nathan's IEP comes up for review and discussion. In such an efficient way, I managed to schedule all three meetings for yesterday.
I have been sick since Election Day two weeks ago (nasty cough that has taken my voice mostly away and also my ability to sleep at night). Last Wednesday I went to the doctor, who basically shrugged, gave me cough pearls, and told me they don't prescribe antibiotics until it's been 10 days. I emailed him on Friday and begged for antibiotics, knowing I had these three meetings on Monday and would need a voice and some sleep to think clearly. Gratefully, he agreed it was time to try them out.
By yesterday, I had finally had one almost-complete night's sleep, and could at least talk without coughing, though not very loudly. As good as it gets.
First up was the IEP meeting. I have to say, if you've never been through one of these, count yourself lucky. They tend to be grueling, just because they last for at least an hour, and they focus on all the things *wrong* with your child. Nathan has a very unique IEP that I have to think most districts would probably scoff at. Thankfully, due to very active, outspoken doctors, and a very accommodating school, he gets an IEP that is JUST Physical Therapy-based. The psychologist even remarked that he had never seen an IEP for a kid who spends 99.14% of his time at school in a regular classroom, but agreed that due to balance/coordination, it was a safety issue and thus warranted (for example, Nathan's classroom is downstairs this year, and he is slow and cautious on stiars, so in an emergency evacuation, he needs help getting up the stairs safely). Mostly at this point, Nathan's IEP is for awareness by the staff of the fact that he needs help on the stairs sometimes, and he might need some accommodations in gym. The school has a new physical therapist this year who is absolutely wonderful and has some great ideas to empower Nathan and to help him understand what he *can* do. I feel pretty safe with him at this school, that he will be respected and his needs will be met (last year's teaching situation was definitely an anomaly). We keep his IEP very well documented in the event that we move, for some reason, and we have to deal with a new school.
It was absolutely wonderful for this mama's heart to hear all these adults rave about what a great kid Nathan is, and how much they genuinely enjoy spending time with him. The gym teacher was in attendance and, having worked with Nathan for four years now, told us just how much he loves Nathan because even though things are really hard for him, he never makes excuses and he always tries. He isn't that kid who just sits down because he is tired or it is hard.
It is also great to hear that for the most part, Nathan has found a way to fit in. He has a great little tribe.
In his parent/teacher conference, we learned that he is reading in about the 98th percentile for his grade level. His teacher has also decided that instead of standard 3rd grade spelling, which he is far beyond, he can study greek and latin roots with a fellow classmate in a similar situation. They study them in the hall, do activities related to them, and take weekly spelling tests. She again emphasized that he is kind and empathetic, and such a sweet kid.
Nathan has had some pretty serious anxiety issues this fall. We have spent time with several medical professionals trying to figure out what to do for him and how to help. He is beginning to show signs of ADHD-inattentive and we are keeping a close eye on how it affects his abilities at school. He also has some pretty serious issues with media-sensitivity which have made social studies and reading challenging at school. He basically refuses to read fiction because it's too intense for him. He has such an over-developed sense of empathy that it overwhelms him to the point of needing to take breaks from time to time. All of these combined together with his level of intelligence seems to spell out "giftedness" (I hate that term, but there it is). So, his teacher suggested he take the advanced learning placement test, which he completed a couple weeks ago. We have to wait until February for the results.
For now, we are just letting things be at school with him. He has the most wonderful teacher I could ever ask for him to have, and I trust her to keep him challenged and to keep him safe. She is very much inspiring a new love of science this year, as well as really encouraging his love of government.
Austin is doing great in his own little way - he has made dizzying amounts of progress since the school year began. He also has a truly amazing teacher that feels hand-picked for him. The thing I love about his teacher this year is that he has such huge respect for the kids in his class in a way that I think few adults really do for kids. He genuinely consults Austin about his needs and really listens to what he has to say. He has a student teacher this year and I keep thinking that that guy is incredibly lucky to be learning with this guy as a mentor. If all elementary school teachers viewed their students this way, what an amazing environment every school would be!
In his conference we learned that he is doing really well. He participates in class, seems comfortable, and is working at grade appropriate levels in every subject. He is also incredibly well-behaved and follows directions well. Being well-behaved and rule-following is the most important thing to Austin. He prides himself on this and being complemented for it is about the best thing he can possibly hear.
In fact, one of his favorite things to do now is to read books to my mom. Whenever she comes over, he runs off to get a book and reads to her for as long as he is allowed. It is the most special thing ever.
Austin spends 30 minutes a day in the resource room working on writing and social skills, speech therapy, and some occupational therapy. His resource room teacher absolutely adores him, and it's so sweet to hear her just rave over what a sweet kid he is. She approached me about a month and told me that he is doing so well, and working at a grade-appropriate level, that he might not need his time in the resource room anymore (IEPs generally work under the theory of creating the least-restrictive environment for children). I decided to ask Austin what he thought of this and was really surprised by his genuinely thoughtful, articulate answer - remember he is barely 7. He said that he absolutely did NOT want to give up his resource room time because "it makes [his] autism better." He said, "I need some time at school every day in a quiet room with not very many people in it to help make my day better." I passed this on, and it was decided by all involved that we should respect his wishes. I'm not sure we can maintain it past April when his IEP comes up for review, but we'll try if that's what he wants.
It is sometimes a challenge to parent these two VERY different children with some extra needs, especially in the school-environment, but I am so grateful every day for this wonderful school they get to attend. It is such a positive, nurturing environment with such a great culture. It is a big reason we chose to just stay where we are for awhile longer.
(Every kid in the school got to fill out a heart that was either a good deed they did for someone, or one someone did for them. They are pretty amazing, and some are really funny.)
I have been sick since Election Day two weeks ago (nasty cough that has taken my voice mostly away and also my ability to sleep at night). Last Wednesday I went to the doctor, who basically shrugged, gave me cough pearls, and told me they don't prescribe antibiotics until it's been 10 days. I emailed him on Friday and begged for antibiotics, knowing I had these three meetings on Monday and would need a voice and some sleep to think clearly. Gratefully, he agreed it was time to try them out.
By yesterday, I had finally had one almost-complete night's sleep, and could at least talk without coughing, though not very loudly. As good as it gets.
First up was the IEP meeting. I have to say, if you've never been through one of these, count yourself lucky. They tend to be grueling, just because they last for at least an hour, and they focus on all the things *wrong* with your child. Nathan has a very unique IEP that I have to think most districts would probably scoff at. Thankfully, due to very active, outspoken doctors, and a very accommodating school, he gets an IEP that is JUST Physical Therapy-based. The psychologist even remarked that he had never seen an IEP for a kid who spends 99.14% of his time at school in a regular classroom, but agreed that due to balance/coordination, it was a safety issue and thus warranted (for example, Nathan's classroom is downstairs this year, and he is slow and cautious on stiars, so in an emergency evacuation, he needs help getting up the stairs safely). Mostly at this point, Nathan's IEP is for awareness by the staff of the fact that he needs help on the stairs sometimes, and he might need some accommodations in gym. The school has a new physical therapist this year who is absolutely wonderful and has some great ideas to empower Nathan and to help him understand what he *can* do. I feel pretty safe with him at this school, that he will be respected and his needs will be met (last year's teaching situation was definitely an anomaly). We keep his IEP very well documented in the event that we move, for some reason, and we have to deal with a new school.
It was absolutely wonderful for this mama's heart to hear all these adults rave about what a great kid Nathan is, and how much they genuinely enjoy spending time with him. The gym teacher was in attendance and, having worked with Nathan for four years now, told us just how much he loves Nathan because even though things are really hard for him, he never makes excuses and he always tries. He isn't that kid who just sits down because he is tired or it is hard.
It is also great to hear that for the most part, Nathan has found a way to fit in. He has a great little tribe.
In his parent/teacher conference, we learned that he is reading in about the 98th percentile for his grade level. His teacher has also decided that instead of standard 3rd grade spelling, which he is far beyond, he can study greek and latin roots with a fellow classmate in a similar situation. They study them in the hall, do activities related to them, and take weekly spelling tests. She again emphasized that he is kind and empathetic, and such a sweet kid.
Nathan has had some pretty serious anxiety issues this fall. We have spent time with several medical professionals trying to figure out what to do for him and how to help. He is beginning to show signs of ADHD-inattentive and we are keeping a close eye on how it affects his abilities at school. He also has some pretty serious issues with media-sensitivity which have made social studies and reading challenging at school. He basically refuses to read fiction because it's too intense for him. He has such an over-developed sense of empathy that it overwhelms him to the point of needing to take breaks from time to time. All of these combined together with his level of intelligence seems to spell out "giftedness" (I hate that term, but there it is). So, his teacher suggested he take the advanced learning placement test, which he completed a couple weeks ago. We have to wait until February for the results.
For now, we are just letting things be at school with him. He has the most wonderful teacher I could ever ask for him to have, and I trust her to keep him challenged and to keep him safe. She is very much inspiring a new love of science this year, as well as really encouraging his love of government.
Austin is doing great in his own little way - he has made dizzying amounts of progress since the school year began. He also has a truly amazing teacher that feels hand-picked for him. The thing I love about his teacher this year is that he has such huge respect for the kids in his class in a way that I think few adults really do for kids. He genuinely consults Austin about his needs and really listens to what he has to say. He has a student teacher this year and I keep thinking that that guy is incredibly lucky to be learning with this guy as a mentor. If all elementary school teachers viewed their students this way, what an amazing environment every school would be!
In his conference we learned that he is doing really well. He participates in class, seems comfortable, and is working at grade appropriate levels in every subject. He is also incredibly well-behaved and follows directions well. Being well-behaved and rule-following is the most important thing to Austin. He prides himself on this and being complemented for it is about the best thing he can possibly hear.
In fact, one of his favorite things to do now is to read books to my mom. Whenever she comes over, he runs off to get a book and reads to her for as long as he is allowed. It is the most special thing ever.
Austin spends 30 minutes a day in the resource room working on writing and social skills, speech therapy, and some occupational therapy. His resource room teacher absolutely adores him, and it's so sweet to hear her just rave over what a sweet kid he is. She approached me about a month and told me that he is doing so well, and working at a grade-appropriate level, that he might not need his time in the resource room anymore (IEPs generally work under the theory of creating the least-restrictive environment for children). I decided to ask Austin what he thought of this and was really surprised by his genuinely thoughtful, articulate answer - remember he is barely 7. He said that he absolutely did NOT want to give up his resource room time because "it makes [his] autism better." He said, "I need some time at school every day in a quiet room with not very many people in it to help make my day better." I passed this on, and it was decided by all involved that we should respect his wishes. I'm not sure we can maintain it past April when his IEP comes up for review, but we'll try if that's what he wants.
It is sometimes a challenge to parent these two VERY different children with some extra needs, especially in the school-environment, but I am so grateful every day for this wonderful school they get to attend. It is such a positive, nurturing environment with such a great culture. It is a big reason we chose to just stay where we are for awhile longer.
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Silence
I really haven't had the heart to blog since the election, but I suppose life goes on regardless of the results.
We eagerly cast our votes, turned them into the polling box early (we let Nathan drop them in), and waited until election night. We live in a pretty insulated blue bubble, and we stayed informed on all sorts of different kinds of news (I'm trying to say that I check sources for bias and I am not dumb enough to only read liberal-leaning news). It all seemed to be incredibly confident that Hillary Clinton would win. Honestly, while the whole election process stressed me out, I still really didn't think Trump had a chance. I mean, the guy was spouting really horrible stuff, he has absolutely no relevant experience, and he admitted on camera to sexually assaulting women - how could anyone vote for that?
On Monday night, I made myself a shirt! I proudly wore it on Tuesday and congratulated myself for not siding with the racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, anger-inducing candidate. Here in liberal Seattle, I got compliments!
On Tuesday night, I made fun food, we set up a blanket on the floor in front of the TV and we watched election returns - yay! America! - until Nathan and Jason had to go to scouts, and the younger two actually asked to go to bed before 7.
By 8, the writing was on the wall - Trump was going to win. It was such a crazy, sick feeling, and I was all alone on my couch crying. Maybe it sounds silly to cry for the outcome of an election - although maybe those reading this from a perspective of future history will understand why more than I can even now - but this has been a really ugly election season full of hateful, divisive rhetoric and I was so looking for an end. I was looking for comfort in the fact that the competent candidate won and we were all going to be okay. I have not always been a Hillary Clinton fan, but I did a lot of reading and a lot of digging and a lot of watching, and I grew to love her - to really believe in her. And I was ready to see history made with the breaking of that glass ceiling. I wanted to feel represented by a woman - a really measured, competent, intelligent, dare I say caring woman. Alas, the 30 year smear campaign of her by so many made that impossible.
I woke up Wednesday morning with laryngitis. I had no voice. And it felt SO symbolic of that loss. Women had not been able to break into that man's world. Little girls wearing Future President shirts would still have to just imagine what that could be like. I genuinely spent the day wondering if I, as a woman, even deserved equality? Maybe women were indeed put here on earth to be subjugated? I honestly still am not entirely sure of the answer. I mean, the man who had campaigned on platforms to punish women for abortions, bragged about sexual assault, referred to his opponent as a "nasty woman" in the debate had been elected president, and it was white women and men who put him there - a majority of voters in my church voted for him.
Wednesday was a hard day. I felt awful in every way. I sort of wandered around running errands and listening to NPR while Christian was at school, and then aimlessly web-surfed after I picked him up.
Needless to say, this has taken me awhile to work through. And I really am disappointed that women are not better represented in our government. We make up 51% of the population, and yet we make up a mere fraction of that percentage of representatives in Congress. We elected a president who will absolutely not even attempt to staff equally (Hillary had promised a cabinet comprised of 50% women - what a dream that would have been to see!).
I get that people think the system is broken. I get that people don't feel their country is working for them. But this is not the answer. This is just going to make everything worse and more polarized. And what kind of world are we leaving for our children?
I am not the protesting type, and I am not sure how exactly to make my voice heard. I absolutely refuse to live in fear over the next four years, and I will not teach my children fear - but on the other hand, I DO fear for our country. I fear for our standing in the world. I fear for the obvious lack of importance people place on morals if they could overlook his horrible flaws and vote for him. I actually fear for those people who voted for him because they believed his campaign promises. They are some of the ones who will be hit the hardest by this new government.
I haven't exactly decided what to do or how to react to this. Right now I am just taking a step back and trying to assess the situation and see how things settle. But I am hurting that things turned out this way. I am hurting for my friend who is Muslim. I am hurting for my friend who is a gay African American woman. I am hurting for myself, because I know this will impact my family in negative economic ways. I am hurting for our children, who must find their way in this murky amoral "post-truth" era we live in. And mostly I just pray that it all turns out better than the dark picture so many are painting right now.
God bless America - if we actually deserve it.
We eagerly cast our votes, turned them into the polling box early (we let Nathan drop them in), and waited until election night. We live in a pretty insulated blue bubble, and we stayed informed on all sorts of different kinds of news (I'm trying to say that I check sources for bias and I am not dumb enough to only read liberal-leaning news). It all seemed to be incredibly confident that Hillary Clinton would win. Honestly, while the whole election process stressed me out, I still really didn't think Trump had a chance. I mean, the guy was spouting really horrible stuff, he has absolutely no relevant experience, and he admitted on camera to sexually assaulting women - how could anyone vote for that?
On Monday night, I made myself a shirt! I proudly wore it on Tuesday and congratulated myself for not siding with the racist, misogynistic, xenophobic, anger-inducing candidate. Here in liberal Seattle, I got compliments!
By 8, the writing was on the wall - Trump was going to win. It was such a crazy, sick feeling, and I was all alone on my couch crying. Maybe it sounds silly to cry for the outcome of an election - although maybe those reading this from a perspective of future history will understand why more than I can even now - but this has been a really ugly election season full of hateful, divisive rhetoric and I was so looking for an end. I was looking for comfort in the fact that the competent candidate won and we were all going to be okay. I have not always been a Hillary Clinton fan, but I did a lot of reading and a lot of digging and a lot of watching, and I grew to love her - to really believe in her. And I was ready to see history made with the breaking of that glass ceiling. I wanted to feel represented by a woman - a really measured, competent, intelligent, dare I say caring woman. Alas, the 30 year smear campaign of her by so many made that impossible.
I woke up Wednesday morning with laryngitis. I had no voice. And it felt SO symbolic of that loss. Women had not been able to break into that man's world. Little girls wearing Future President shirts would still have to just imagine what that could be like. I genuinely spent the day wondering if I, as a woman, even deserved equality? Maybe women were indeed put here on earth to be subjugated? I honestly still am not entirely sure of the answer. I mean, the man who had campaigned on platforms to punish women for abortions, bragged about sexual assault, referred to his opponent as a "nasty woman" in the debate had been elected president, and it was white women and men who put him there - a majority of voters in my church voted for him.
Wednesday was a hard day. I felt awful in every way. I sort of wandered around running errands and listening to NPR while Christian was at school, and then aimlessly web-surfed after I picked him up.
Needless to say, this has taken me awhile to work through. And I really am disappointed that women are not better represented in our government. We make up 51% of the population, and yet we make up a mere fraction of that percentage of representatives in Congress. We elected a president who will absolutely not even attempt to staff equally (Hillary had promised a cabinet comprised of 50% women - what a dream that would have been to see!).
I get that people think the system is broken. I get that people don't feel their country is working for them. But this is not the answer. This is just going to make everything worse and more polarized. And what kind of world are we leaving for our children?
I am not the protesting type, and I am not sure how exactly to make my voice heard. I absolutely refuse to live in fear over the next four years, and I will not teach my children fear - but on the other hand, I DO fear for our country. I fear for our standing in the world. I fear for the obvious lack of importance people place on morals if they could overlook his horrible flaws and vote for him. I actually fear for those people who voted for him because they believed his campaign promises. They are some of the ones who will be hit the hardest by this new government.
I haven't exactly decided what to do or how to react to this. Right now I am just taking a step back and trying to assess the situation and see how things settle. But I am hurting that things turned out this way. I am hurting for my friend who is Muslim. I am hurting for my friend who is a gay African American woman. I am hurting for myself, because I know this will impact my family in negative economic ways. I am hurting for our children, who must find their way in this murky amoral "post-truth" era we live in. And mostly I just pray that it all turns out better than the dark picture so many are painting right now.
God bless America - if we actually deserve it.
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