2017 revealed

I have the privilege of writing a scripture reflection once each month for the daily reflection ministry at my church. This post is taken from my reflection published January 3. I don't make a habit of sharing my scripture reflections on this blog, but I think it serves nicely as a New Year's post.

“Beloved, we are God’s children now; what we shall be has not yet been revealed. We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” – 1 John 3:2

The beginning of a new year can present itself to us as a daunting task. People ask us about our New Year’s resolutions. We survey our lives with a critical eye, looking for places where we can do better, be better. I’ve often felt a pressure to create a “new me” when the calendar page turns to January.

As I read the readings for Tuesday, I was struck by the quote above. I know that I am a child of God, but I don’t necessarily know what that means for me, what I “shall be.” Sometime last spring, I came to a very clear understanding that the life I was living was not the life God intended for me. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was sure I was hearing and understanding the message.

It took me a few months to let it sink in, but slowly I began to change. None of the changes were drastic. I still have the same job. I am still married to the same man, raising the same three teenagers. I still live in the same house. But I am different and the difference is that I am taking the time to consider what it is that God would have me do with my life. What that shall be has not yet been fully revealed, but I believe that by listening, reflecting, and being open to God’s call, I am becoming more who God would have be me, more like him.

So this year, when January 1 rolled around, I didn’t feel anxious about declaring a resolution. I don’t see the new year as a challenge to conquer, but as an invitation to open and to answer, one day at a time.

So I ask you, child of God, what is it that you shall be?

Father God, I pray that I might keep your will for my life always in my mind and heart, so that when it is revealed to me, I will find myself ever more like you.

Blessings to all of you in this New Year. If you would like to subscribe (FREE!) to receive the daily reflections (Monday-Friday) in your email, go here.

2015: Resolution Overload

If you've been on Facebook at all in the past week (and you know I have been), maybe you've noticed it. "It" being the over-abundance of self-improvement tips and blog posts and encouragements, all allegedly pointing us in the direction of a happier, healthier, smarter, more organized, more faithful, more prosperous New Year. "It" makes me want to pull the covers over my head and stay in 2014 forever.

There is nothing wrong with setting goals, dreaming big or choosing a life focus. The good Lord knows that my life could use some focus. But being inundated with suggestions about how to be a better me actually results in a more anxious me. Here are just a few of the things I could do to make 2015 the best. year. ever.

I'm not devoid of goals or completely unwilling to make changes in my life. I think that the key to me succeeding at New Year's resolutions or life goals or whatever you want to call them is to decide what's really important to me and what activities will support that. 

My focus for 2015 is to get our home ready to sell. By this time next year, I want to be able to confidently put a "For Sale" sign in the yard.

So the two things I am committing myself to this year are completing the 52-Week Organized Home Challenge (done in just 15 minutes a day!) and reading my friend Cherie's new book, Slaying the Debt Dragon, which I'm counting on to inspire me to get our finances in sell-and-move-ready condition, too.

Sure, there are plenty of other goals I could set -- health goals, career goals, even recreational goals. But I know myself. I can overload myself with good intentions, then end up frustrated and stuck where I was in the first place because it was just all too much. Or I can choose one thing that I really want for 2015 and take a few concrete steps toward achieving that. The other thing I can do is ask for your help. Check in with me from time to time about my progress. Encourage me. Gently keep my feet to the fire.

Are you setting goals or making resolutions for 2015? If so, what are they? And how can I help you make 2015 the year you want it to be?

Oh the pressure of the New Year

The beginning of a new year…oh, the possibility of a blank slate, the potential of dreams yet unfulfilled, the pressure to do it right. When Mike left for college, his very well-meaning grandfather stood in the driveway, waved goodbye and called out, "DO EVERYTHING RIGHT!" That's what the New Year feels like to me.

The New Year kind of stresses me out. Not in the way it stressed out my mother-in-law, who wouldn't go anywhere after 5pm on December 31 because "everyone out there is drunk driving." What stresses me out is the pressure to perform. 

Lose weight.

Spend less.

Save more. 

Have a cleaner house. 

Eat like a caveman. 

Reduce your carbon footprint. 

Pray more. 

None of those things are bad. No one would argue that any of them would lead to bad things. But the bandwagons that are circling for those things make me more nervous than a kid whose needle-wielding doctor just said "this won't hurt...much."

It's not that I don't see areas of my life which could use improvement. It's that I see too many areas that are begging for attention. Lose weight. Spend less. Save more. Be more organized. Be present more. Pray more. Covet less. 

Maybe I need to get more comfortable with the idea of goal-setting. Maybe I need to be better about creating a plan by which to reach a goal. Maybe I need to print signs -- "encouragements" for you Fault in Our Stars fans  -- to hang around the house. Would any of that make me embrace the possibility of the New Year any more than I do?

Last year, I decided that in the New Year I wanted to simply be kind, spread joy. I think I succeeded for the most part, extending kindness outward. 

This year, I'm feeling a pull to turning inward, focusing on our family, our interactions with one another, our stewardship of those things which we've been given. Maybe its the realization that we really only have Annie at home for another 18 months. Maybe its a natural tendency to gather my people in when they are, quite naturally, moving into circles further from our home base. 

I don't have any real resolutions to offer, just an awareness of a direction in which I want to move. No pressure. 

Epiphany from a stranger's funeral

The idea of New Year's resolutions has been nagging at me lately. I really hate resolutions because in order to make them, I first have to make a list of all the things that are wrong with my life or at least a list of things I could be doing better. The time it would take me to make that list would take me half way to 2014. I can't think of a more depressing way to start the New Year.

However, I had an epiphany about resolutions while I was at a funeral of a man I did not know today. Charlie was an altar server for the funeral Mass. Because this was the first funeral he'd served, I decided to stay as a show of moral support. Besides, burying the dead is a corporal work of mercy.

Anyway, at the beginning of the Mass, they read a letter from the young father who had died of cancer (34 years old, preschool age kids, so sad). The gist of his message was "be kind." Individual acts of kindness have the power to change the world, he'd written.

This wasn't news to me. I've heard it before. You probably have, too. But in the context of a brain focused on New Year's resolutions, the sentiment had a lot of meaning. Suddenly, I realized perhaps why I hate New Year's resolutions so much (aside from the inevitable failure and subsequent guilt).

I thought maybe if I weren't so busy making resolutions all about me (lose 50 pounds, curse less, read more, be more organized), I would find them easier to make and keep. I'm not talking about creating resolutions for other people to keep -- I tried that once. I'm talking about using my resolutions to bring about good in my small corner of the world.

So that's my resolution -- to be a joy-spreader, a do-gooder, a kindness-sharer. I could list ways in which to make that happen (I have a few ideas already), but I'm just going to be open the opportunity to do good in some small way each day.

You know what? I'm not dreading it at all.

Happy 2013, everyone. And thanks for the new perspective, Shawn.

New Year's to do list of a messy perfectionist

I'm a bit of a perfectionist, but not the must have everything clean and organized type of perfectionist (much to the disappointment of my husband). I'm the kind of perfectionist who always wants things to be just right, even though actually making things just right seems elusive.

I was trying to think of a description for that and came up with "messy perfectionist."  It turns out I'm not the first one to come up with the concept. Google it -- better yet, search it on Swagbucks. Anyway, if you're a messy perfectionist like me (and apparently a lot of other people), the start of a new year can be pretty overwhelming. There is just so much I could and should be doing. So the New Year's to do list of a messy perfectionist might look like this:

1. Eat less.
2. Sleep more (I write at 11:30pm).
3. Go to the gym 5 days a week.
4. Cook more often (frozen pizza does not count).
5. Start FLYing with the FLY Lady.
6. Establish before school/after school/weekend chore routines.
7. Clip -- and use -- more coupons.
8. Clean out closets.
9. Organize the kitchen cabinets. 
10. Pack lunch more often.
11. Watch less TV.
12. Spend less money.
13. Facebook less often.
14. Pray more. 
15. Volunteer.
16. Floss.

If I really thought about it, I could make this list go on and on and on... Is it any wonder I have found myself having to take deep, calming breaths over the past few days?

So I'm trying to just make a few small changes. I won't call them resolutions because if I have trouble following through, I don't want to think I've failed. Rather, I'm more about giving it a good try. I will try to drink Diet Coke only in the morning (as my "coffee). I will try not to eat sweets, except maybe one treat once per week. Trust me, if I could do that it would be a heee-uuuuge victory.

I'm not trying to rid myself of those messy perfectionistic tendency. I'm just trying to live with them.

No resolutions here

Thanks to Just Heather, I've found a way around traditional New Year's resolutions. Anytime I've made resolutions in the past, they've seemed like wispy puffs of hope thrown up into the universe, dissolving into little bits before they even float back down to earth.

Instead of resolutions, Heather made a 2010 to do list. Now that I can do. Very specific, reasonable actions on a list that can be triumphantly crossed off as they are accomplished. So without any further delay, away we go:

Amy's 2010 To Do List

1. Go on a vacation (even just a weekend) with my husband.
2. Make a prioritized list of all the home improvement/fix-it projects that I'd like to do. Start and finish at least 3 things on the list.
3. Take a yoga class.
4. Read one "parenting" book for each of my children.
5. Create a livable system for organizing -- and using -- coupons.
6. Buy a roll of stamps and use it to send letters and cards to let family and friends know I'm thinking of them.
7. Throw/give away socks that have no matches.
8. Go to Holiday World at least once. (We didn't make it last year and the kids were disappointed.)
9. Get a pedicure.
10. Clean out the basement storage room.
11. Go to Eucharistic Adoration once each month.
    

So there it is. I know 11 is an odd number. What can I say? I'm an overachiever? Or at least a hopeless optimist? Some of the items will be easier than others, which is ok. Most of them, I can control. A few I'll need some assistance with, which is also ok.

Notice that there's nothing there about exercise or weight loss? Obviously, given my involvement in the Better U challenge, those things will be a part of my life. But I feel like they're already in motion. Plus, they seemed a little New Year's cliche to put on the list. So I left them off. But rest assured, Denzel and I are in good standing and I have high hopes -- I mean, I am determined -- to arrive at the February 26 Go Red for Women luncheon leaner and healthier than I am today.

Now to print out my 2010 To Do List (in triplicate would be good) and post it in places where I can be reminded of it (and be held accountable to it) often.

Do you make resolutions? Does an annual To Do list appeal to you? What's on yours?

2009 resolutions for other people

I'm feeling a little bit of (self-imposed) pressure to post a New Year's Day entry all about my hopes, dreams and resolutions for 2009. And I thought seriously about doing that. But the list of all the things I want to change or do differently is so long -- Mike calls it my "Litany of all things wrong" -- that I just can't face it right now.

So, I thought instead I'd do what I do best. Tell other people what to do. So here goes:

My 2009 Resolutions for Other People

Mike: Resolve to stop leaving dishes in parts of the house that are not the kitchen. I'm not going to tell a grown man that he can't eat or drink in front of the TV, but for cryin' out loud, take the dishes to the kitchen sink when you are done!

Annie: Resolve to say "Ok, Mom" in any situation where you feel that arguing a point is necessary. Two little words, easy enough. "Ok, Mom."

Charlie: Resolve to make me look like a good mom by bringing home your assignment notebook, completely filled in, every day. And doing the homework that's listed there.

Robbie: Resolve to start sleeping past 6:30am on Saturdays and any other day we don't have to get up early for school.

Denise: I'm good with your resolution to do a 5K, but Race for the Cure does not count. Do it, absolutely. It's a great event. But it is more of a social event/cultural statement than a race. So do RftC and one other 5K that involves a little more athletic output. (And when you do RftC, get there early enough to see the Survivors' Parade. Bring Kleenex.)

Beth: Resolve to yell. Just once. I mean really scream. I've never seen you mad. That can't be good for your chakras or whatever. And when you do yell, I'd love to be there (as long as you're not yelling at me).

Lisa: Resolve to play hooky one Friday and join us for coffee and "therapy."

Mary: Resolve to keep notes on your experience as a salesperson at a high-end store. I see a Nanny Diaries-type bestseller in your future.

Allison Sweeney (Biggest Loser host): Resolve to find a new stylist. I would swiftly ditch the one who put you in that hideous green dress for the BL finale last month.

Biggest Loser: Resolve not to jump the shark by turning the show into a freak show. There's fat and then there is freaky fat.

Burger King: Resolve to find a new marketing strategy. Simpson's kids' meal toys, Whopper virgins and cologne that smells like "seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat" just makes you the trailer trash of fast food chains.

Mike: Thought of another one. Resolve to clean out the garage and keep it clean so we can park the cars in there.

The potential employer who hasn't responded yay or nay regarding Mike's interview: Resolve to hire him already. He'll do a great job!

Charlie: Another one for you too. Resolve to stop throwing clean, folded laundry into the dirty clothes. It'll save me a lot of yelling and you a lot of punishment.

Shelley: Resolve to take a walk on the wild side and let the kids out of the house once in a while in outfits that are not perfectly coordinated by Gymboree.

Robbie: Resolve to go to sleep in your own bed, all by yourself, all night long.

Annie: Didn't want you to feel left out with only one. So resolve to continue to stay out of all the cliquishness and cat fighting that seems to come with 6th grade girls. Be friends with who you want to be friends with and phooey on anyone who doesn't like it.

The producers of The Office: Resolve to bring back Holly. She was good for Michael and for the show.

Bill: Resolve to find joy in every day. Not necessarily all day long. But acknowledge at least one thing every day that is good.

Angie: Resolve to give me a new niece or nephew in 2009 (which means this is a resolution for Jason, too!)

Mike: One final one (at least that I'll post here). Resolve to keep me honest about exercising 3 times a week (why don't you join me?) and to stop enabling my fat by bringing me chocolate and ice cream. I know, resolve to have some fruit.

Now that wasn't too bad, was it? As for me, without listing the multitude of things I want to change, I'll say this:

I resolve to take control of my health, using the tools that I have at my disposal; to be more present to my family; and to try to bring more order to the chaos that is my life.

So how about you? What are your New Year's resolutions? Got any for me?