CPAP, seriously

In my last post, I shared some comical truths about using a CPAP machine to treat sleep apnea. I also shared a ridiculously unflattering photo of myself (though, I do admit the jammies were cute), which should prove clearly that sleep apnea can cause a person to lose some brain cells.

But, I do want to circle back and talk briefly about why treatment for sleep apnea is so important. Make no mistake -- I hate using a CPAP machine. There are some times when I put off going to bed just because I don't want to put that $#*@&# mask on. However, I'm caught in a hate-love quandry: I hate the machine but I love breathing. So, for that, I go to bed looking like Mrs. Snufalufagus.

Besides keeping me breathing -- here are the other things CPAP therapy can do for a person:

1. Reduce the strain of oxygen deprivation on your heart. Those momentary pauses without oxygen cause your blood pressure to go up, which is hard on your heart.
2. Make you more feel more rested...because you are. That's what happens when you're not waking up 79 times (+/-) an hour.
3. Make you more alert in your waking hours. Even on the nights I don't get as many hours of sleep as I should, I feel so much more alert, more mentally with it than I did when I would "sleep" more hours without the CPAP machine.
4. Possibly (hopefully) help fight the battle of the bulge. Maybe it's just me, but when I'm tired, I eat more during the day, especially sugary stuff that might give me a surge of energy. And losing weight, if you are overweight, almost always improves sleep apnea. So said the doc.
5. Reduce acid reflux. The pulmonologist explained to me that when you inhale hard several times, gasping for air (which is what happens those 79 times an hour), it loosens the grip of the sphincter muscle at the bottom of the esophagus. That allows stomach acids to make their way back up which is no fun and over the long-term can lead to a pre-cancerous condition called Barrett's esophagus. 
6. Improve your marriage because your spouse won't be so crabby at you for snoring all night long. And you won't be so crabby at everyone around you because you won't be so flipping tired. Seriously, the doctor said they see symptoms of depression improve in people who start CPAP therapy for sleep apnea.

I wear contact lenses that you can sleep in. One thing I've noticed since starting to use the CPAP machine is that my eyes seem much more "gummy" in the morning. I have to wonder if that's because I'm spending more time in deeper REM-stage sleep. I may have to start taking my contact lenses out when I go to bed, but at least I'll be awake enough in the morning to put them back in.

So, my public service announcement of the night is this: If you think you might have sleep apnea -- if you never feel rested, if you snore so much that you bother others or even wake yourself up (guilty), if you wake up with a sore throat or a swollen uvula (that hanging thing at the back of your throat) -- talk to your doctor about having a sleep study done. If nothing else, consider it a chance to get a night to yourself. You can read about my sleep study, complete with crazy wired up pictures, here.

The truth about using a CPAP machine

You might remember that shortly before the New Year, I had a sleep study done. The results came back and declared that I have severe sleep apnea. Well, let me clarify, "severe" sleep apnea is defined as more than 30 awakenings, or "arousals" as they are called, in one hour. On the night of my test, I averaged 79 arousals..in one hour. That's "how-am-I-not-dead-yet-severe sleep apnea."

So, I've been using a CPAP machine. CPAP stands for continuous positive airway pressure -- or in other words, "let's force air down your throat all night long so you keep breathing." This is not my first experience with CPAP. I used a machine several years ago and then got out of the habit. But it is my first time blogging about it. And there are a few things I'd like to share.

This is me, wearing my favorite polka dot jammies, with my CPAP mask on (I think all these years of oxygen deprivation have caused me to lose any sense of dignity.):



And here are some truths about using a CPAP machine:

1. The use of a CPAP machine may stop nocturnal arousals of the oxygen-depriving kind, but it very likely will stop any other kind of arousals that take place in the bedroom. Seriously, I don't think this is going to be a look you'll see at Frederick's of Hollywood anytime soon. 
2. While the crazy-looking mask might be a turn-off to your spouse, it also helps keep the kids from climbing in your bed at night because the look of you with the mask on in a dark room is way worse than any bad dreams they might have had.
3. If those same children decide they want to dress up as an elephant, fighter pilot or vacuum cleaner for Halloween, you're all set. 
4. The first time you try to get up to pee and are so sleepy that you forget you've got the mask attached to your face and also attached to the unit on your nightstand is not something you'll be interested in repeating.
5. If your spouse complained about your snoring before you got the CPAP machine and then complains about the minor noise the machine itself makes, I'm pretty sure the judge will go easy on you at the sentencing hearing. 
6. If you wore a headgear to bed when you were younger and hated it, you might feel the same way about the CPAP mask.
7. The days of jumping up, throwing on some clothes and heading out the door without a shower are pretty much gone because the straps for the mask create some wicked bedhead. Unless of course you long ago lost your sense of dignity (see above) and you don't really care about leaving home with your hair all jacked up.
8. You will still feel like crap in the morning if you don't go to bed until 2am, even if those 4 hours of sleep you're getting is oxygen rich. This thing is a machine, not a miracle worker.