I said NO.

Today, I did something rather out of the ordinary for me. I said NO Not to my kids, but to someone who asked me to do something. The word no is not a routine part of my vocabulary, unless it comes in a sentence such as, "No, it's all right. I'll do it."

NO is not an easy word for a people-pleasing first-born like me. I want people to like me. I want to help. NO does not lend itself to either of those things. I can remember one of the first times in my adult life that I had to force myself to say no.

Charlie was just over 3 months old. I was in the very ugly grip of severe postpartum depression. I had invited a dozen or so moms and their kids over for a Halloween party, but I just was not up to all the cleaning and cooking and socializing the event would require. The woman who ran the PPD support group  somehow got it through my head that no was not a negative word, that saying no in that situation was actually a positive move for my own sanity.

So I called the moms I'd invited to let them know I was canceling the party. Do you know what? Not one of them threw a hissy fit. Not one of them stopped being friendly to me. And several of them, after hearing about what I was going through, shared their own postpartum struggles with me or offered to help by watching the kids for a few hours or bringing over a meal.

It was my first real experience with the power of NO. It was not, however, the beginning of a close relationship. I still have troubling declining requests. I was asked to serve on the PTO at school. I tried to say NO -- really, I did. But I ended up saying yes, just to something smaller.

Besides wanting people to like me and not wanting to disappoint them, there is another reason NO is such a hard word to form on my lips. In addition to being a people-pleasing first-born, I am an affirmation-craving Leo. I like to be needed and wanted -- it flatters me.

So when the American Heart Association people -- those who were so good to me last year during the Better U effort -- called and asked if I would be willing to chair the Better U committee this year, I was flattered. They asked ME! Sure, there was an instant red flag going off in my gut, but it was such an honor to be asked. However, I have learned a few things in the years since that not-to-be-thrown Halloween party, so I said "maybe."

I asked what was involved, what did the time commitment look like? They offered to come to my office to talk to me about it. "Sure," I said. "Let's talk."

Three of the AHA staff from Indianapolis came to my office. We talked about last year's experience, what was good, what I might do differently. Then they explained what they had in mind for this year, letting me know that much of the structure of the program would be up to me and my committee. As I sat  across from the three of them at my desk, my head -- that's the part that craves the limelight and loves to be in charge -- was saying "yes, yes, yes!" But to be truthful, my heart and my gut -- the parts that have been feeling so overwhelmed with the jobs of wife, mother and communications manager, were saying, "Whoa! Slow down a minute."

I told the heart folks that I would think it over, that I was leaning toward yes, but I needed to take some time to consider it. And I did. And as much as I wanted to say yes -- as much as I wanted to run the show and make this great thing happen -- I knew that saying yes to this project would be saying NO to my family, my work, even this blog.

So, in the end, I thanked the Heart Association folks for thinking of me and giving me the opportunity to consider taking this project on, but I felt the need to decline. I said NO. And once the word was out there, those parts of me that are guided by the truth of who I am -- my heart and my gut -- those parts said, "Yes...yes...thank you for saying NO."

Adventures of a G-list celebrity

Today was the annual Carmelfest 4th of July parade, or "prade" if you ask Charlie:

As one last vestige of the "celebrity" status bestowed on me by my participation in the Go Red Better U Challenge, I was invited to ride the St. Vincent Heart Center float in the parade. I really hadn't planned to do it because I weigh about 10 pounds more than my self-inflicted goal I'd set when the invite was first issued last March. But when Pam Irick from the Heart Center tracked me down via Facebook yesterday, I figured what the heck and told her I'd be there.

Before the parade started, all of the people representing St. Vincent in the parade were given red t-shirts. Co-challenger Kimila Brown and I went into Hobby Lobby to change clothes. That's where we ran into St. Vincent social worker Teresa who had just finished doctoring her over-sized shirt. She happily took a pair of scissors to our shirts as well, making them a little better fitting and a lot more airy.

Soon, it was time to load up and roll out.

This was the view from the beginning of the route:

As we pulled past my family, Annie and Charlie were waving madly. Mike was snapping pictures. Robbie, upon seeing me standing on the first float in the parade, shouted "Hey Mom, look up there! See that airplane?!" Perhaps G-list celebrity is thinking a bit too highly of myself.

To be honest, I felt pretty silly up on that float waving at people I mostly didn't know. I was glad for the St. Vincent volunteers walking alongside us who were handing out tchotchkes because all the kids were clapping and cheering for the free stuff, but at least I could pretend they were cheering for us float-riders. Of course, even the foldable frisbees they were flinging couldn't compete with the real object of the kiddies' desires: candy!

After about 10 or 15 minutes into the route, we picked up a straggler (no need to alert the authorities, her parents were walking with the St. V crew):

There were several bigger kids who were real troopers who walked (or rolled) the entire 1.6 mile route:

Those people with the tents (check out the rollerblade picture again) really know how to watch a parade. In addition to self-made shade, they had quite a spread. If I'd been a little gutsier, I might have hollered for them to give me something to drink.

The parade was a lot of fun. We haven't been for several years, but there bands and fire engines, fancy cars carrying politicians and political hopefuls, veterans groups and of course, clowns.

We invited one dripping-with-sweat clown to hop aboard the pick-up pulling our float because, quite honestly, I was afraid we were gonna have to put that "best heart care in Indiana" slogan to the test if we didn't give him a lift. I wish we'd had him with us from the beginning. He really got the crowd going!

Before I knew it, we were at the end of the parade route. That's when I realized I wasn't sure how I was going to get back to my car. I was resigned to walking when a very nice group of church goers offered us a ride on their deluxe, multi-row golf cart.

For the first few minutes, I found myself waving to cars and people on the sidewalk, obviously still in "parade mode." But when we pulled out onto Rangeline Road, alongside real cars going real fast (at least compared to the putt-putt speed of our transport), I stopped waving and held on for dear life. Have you ever ridden a golf cart down a main thoroughfare? I think flying in a WWII stunt plane would be safer!

And that was pretty much the end of my "celebrity" adventure. I'm sure there were plenty of people scratching their heads, wondering who that not-so-fit lady was on the Heart Center float. And there were a lot of kids wishing we had candy for them. But at the very least, I got a chance to scope out where I want to sit to watch the parade next year.

How I got here

On Tuesday, I snuck this into my post about The Biggest Loser:

A quick sidebar: I had a similar "new reality" experience last weekend. Usually, when I shop I go straight to the plus-size department and choose from the limited selection offered there. But last weekend at Macy's, I shopped in the "regular" departments. While it was exciting, it was also overwhelming. Still, I'll take the size 14s I bought on Saturday over the size 20s I was busting out of last September any day.

My friend Liz left this comment:

AND AMY!!! SIZE 14!!! WOOT! I think that deserves more than just some little mention in the middle of a blog post about Biggest Loser!! Time for a before and after pic!! Brag on yourself, sister! Talk about what you are doing and the changes you are making! You can seriously inspire others!

I've been thinking about her comment. I am proud of what I've done. And if you missed the recent before/after pics, click here. But I am also cautious.

I've been down this weight loss road before. When Robbie was about a year old, I lost about 40 pounds. I don't remember how low my weight got, but obviously, I didn't stay there. This time in addition to making changes in my eating (card-carrying member of Weight Watchers), I've added a consistent exercise effort. I have the Better U challenge to thank for that.

I could post daily menus and exercise tallies. And some people might copy exactly what I've done and be successful. But I've come to understand that, for me at least, success in this endeavor does not start with what I do or do not put in my mouth or how many days a week I hit the gym. For me, success starts in between my ears.

Amazingly, I can't put my finger on exactly what clicked for me. I do know it was a combination of factors. I started Weight Watchers in September and pretty much floundered for the first 3 months, losing only 8 pounds. Enter the Better U challenge.

Three people involved in that really helped get me on the right track. Dr. Nancy Branyas was encouraging in a matter-of-fact way. She told me I had to exercise and encouraged me to start with just 10 minutes a day and build on that.

Then there were Kyle Heerdink and Kara Wagner, two trainers at Lifetime Fitness. Kyle was my weekly trainer. He pushed me and helped me see that I could do more than I thought I could. Who knew that a high five could be such a powerful reward for effort? But Kyle also respected my limitations. He had a great way of knowing when I was saying "I can't" and when I actually couldn't.

I worked with Kara a handful of times throughout the Better U challenge. She helped introduce me to exercise beyond the treadmill. Every time I get on the bike or the elliptical and I know how to push myself, I thank Kara in my head. Because of basic geography -- I live too far away from Lifetime to make it workable in my daily routine -- I joined a different gym. But Lifetime Fitness laid the foundation for me.

A third -- and probably most important -- element to my success has been an attitude change. For some reason, this time, I believe that I am worth the investment of time and effort. In general, I look forward to my workout time as "me" time. Sometimes I work out with other people and I have fun. And if I'm by myself, I enjoy logging on to Pandora Radio and listening to whatever strikes my fancy for the day.

For all of the changes I've made, I'm still cautious. At 30+ pounds lost, I'm less than halfway to my final goal (I'm hoping to hit a total of 80 pounds). The week Mike was in the hospital, I gained 5 pounds! Old habits die hard and I know that I have to be vigilant and not give in to the emotional eating that I fell into during that week. I get discouraged that I can't run outside as well as I can run on the treadmill. But I have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other, not look for perfection, and keep on keeping on.

I'm not sure if this post provided any inspiration, or even an inside look into the brain of a fat woman. But it's been good to take some time to look back and see where I've been and how I might have gotten there. Thanks for the prompt, Liz.

Waking up from a dream

Yesterday was the Go Red for Women luncheon and truthfully, I'm trying to reach back into the day and embrace all that happened. It was a fabulous day, but I really feel like I was walking around in a dream.

It started bright and early with the gals at Dr. Turkle's office doing our make-up. I really only wear makeup a few times a month. It's not that I don't like it, but despite numerous lessons, I don't feel like I really know how to wear it and it seems like an extra fuss I don't want to spend the time on. But I was more than happy to let Elissa work her magic:

Here's me, up close and personal. It's kind of an awkward self-portrait via cell phone camera, but I felt so pretty. I honestly got teary looking at myself and actually thinking the word "pretty" about me!

Of course I didn't miss the opportunity to get a pic taken with Elissa, my miracle worker:

The atmosphere was kind of like a wedding day -- all the bridesmaids sitting around together getting ready for the big event. Once all the girls had their makeup finished, we were off in style. The Heart Association sent a limo to transport us all to the hotel.

That's Kimila, Jessica, Dee, Ruth and our Go Red Ambassador/Coach Sandy.

If the morning went by quickly, once we arrived at the hotel, everything kicked into whirlwind pace. We didn't have much time to enjoy the atmosphere -- 1,000 women (and a few men) in red, toting fabulous red swag bags, health screenings, freebies, etc. I was able to do a few things but then it was time for the run through for the fashion show.

That's when I started getting nervous. I walked into the ballroom and saw it set for 1,000 guests and I saw this big long runway and I could feel the butterflies. But mostly, I just had fun.

Nancy from Macy's brought out a darling pair of red slingback wedges for me to wear and I just LOVED them! Then the firefighters who were going to escort us on the stage arrived. With them was one of their female firefighters who, it turns out, is friends with my friend Lynn, who told Joy to look for me. She was so sweet; meeting her was honestly one of the best parts of the day.

Soon after I met Joy, Mike arrived -- on crutches because he hurt his knee playing racquetball with the kids last week -- and Joy snapped this pic of us. I love the pic more than I love the red shoes!

Don'tcha just love the hearts in the background of the pic?!

After the runway practice, I ran into my boss and two co-workers in the hallway, all of whom were nice enough to say how great I looked. (I'm totally a sucker for flattery!) Then lunch - the food was amazing -- not your typical boring banquet stuff -- crispy flatbread, a squash and spinach lasagna, broiled tomatoes, apple cranberry tarts. I mean really delicious and heart healthy too.

We had to scarf the food down because then we had to run to get dressed. I loved the dress, but I was obsessing about whether or not my bra (new since I'd tried on the dress at Macy's) was showing and trying to get the ribbon belt untied because it felt a bit snug. In retrospect, I wish I'd been able to untie it and tie it looser because looking at the pictures, the dress wasn't nearly as flattering as I'd remembered it. And looking at the pictures, I'm not as skinny as I felt. (I must have one of those reverse body image problems. Ha!)

I'm glad I didn't feel it in the moment though. Because in the moment, I felt fabulous. So many of the girls told me I looked "adorable!" We waited backstage while they showed a video about us -- here's me in the video, larger than life on the big screen (the lines are shadows of balloon ribbons hanging in front of the screen):

Then it was show time!

My firefighter was Brandon. He's 36 and in his first year on the fire department. He said he tried for six years to get selected -- and he made the age cut off by 4 days. What a great story! Brandon, and all the firefighters, were so complimentary of all us. Having them there was a nice addition to the day.

It was such a great day, definitely a day on which I felt very loved. I got so many compliments from people at the luncheon and so much love from my Facebook friends who left numerous messages of encouragement at good luck. Everyone should get to have a day like that.

And now that it's over, I need to remember that it's really not over. That there is still is one month left in the Better U challenge and that I still have a long way to go (55 pounds to be exact) to be where I want to be.

Going red

Well, now didn't this new color scheme just up and grab ya?! I should have uploaded it yesterday, since it was February 1, but better late than never. I know it's a bit garish with the purple and green, but I've got limited skillz, people. Of course, the change is in honor of February being "Go Red for Women" month!

Go Red for Women is, in my own estimation, about two things. First, it's about raising awareness that heart disease is the #1 killer of women in the United States (Joanne in Canada - I'm sure it's bad, too, so don't turn me off!). Second, it's about stepping up and making a pledge to keep your own heart healthy.

To those ends, here are some ideas for you:

Awareness

1. Become a fan of Go Red for Women on Facebook.
2. Get a free red dress pin, then tell others why you're wearing it.
3. Read the inspirational stories of others who are living with and fighting against heart disease.
4. Participate in national Wear Red Day, this Friday, February 5.
5. Make your cell phone Go Red, too, with wallpaper and a Go Red ringtone!
6. Answer the casting call to become a Go Red for Women national spokesperson.

Stepping Up

1. Take the Go Red Heart CheckUp. A few minutes of time could mean years on your life.
2. Sign up to work toward a BetterU.
3. Check out some new -- and delicious -- heart healthy recipes.
4. If it's been a while, go to your doctor for a check up. Vow to know your numbers.
5. Attend a Go Red luncheon in your area. If you attend the Indianapolis luncheon (February 26), please look for me and introduce yourself (if I don't already know you). This is no ordinary lunch, but a 1/2 day filled with workshops aimed at getting and keeping your heart healthy.

I've been really, really lucky to have been able to participate in this heart healthy challenge with my local chapter of the American Heart Association. Having access to the cardiologist, the trainers, the gym, the dietitian and the rest of our great support team has been fabulous. But don't wait for all the stars to align to set out on your path to heart health.

I was really inspired by my friend Sharon who reached her goal weight without the assistance of a team of specialists and a fabulous gym. Let Sharon inspire you, too.

Heart health is not necessarily about losing weight. It's also about good nutrition, getting enough rest and not smoking. Whatever you need to do to love your heart, I hope you do it -- today!

And if you wear red on Friday, February 5, e-mail me a pic at 4thfrog70 at gmail dot com and I'll post it here.

Oh, and I'll just leave you with a celebratory pic from the gym today:

Thank God it's Fragments!

Was this week long or what? Always glad to hit Friday -- especially because of Friday Fragments, courtesy of Mrs.4444. Check out her site for more freaks who like frags.



Yesterday I was in a funk. When I left the office, I was totally jonesing for some french fries (because potatoes and oil are a definite cure for what ails you). But something about eating fries on the way to the gym didn't seem right. So I made myself a deal. Workout first and if I still wanted the tasty spuds, I could get them on the way home. Well, what do you know? It turns out 40 minutes on the treadmill did the trick. No fries, no funk.



Two of our kids have birthdays next month. Their gifts from their great-grandmother are coming from the Sherwin Williams store -- paint and a guy to do the dirty work! (Because I am totally banned from painting for life.) So by this time next week, when I need an escape, I'll head to Belize (Annie's new tropical blue room) and when I'm hungry, I might just go nosh on Robbie's Edamame green walls.



There's a thing going on at Facebook right now where you're supposed to pick a Hollywood star that you look like and use a picture of that person as your profile pic. I can't decide who I might be? Rosie O? Kathy Bates? Maybe Katie Couric, the early years if she had had a serious addiction to ice cream, making her gain 50 pounds? Got any ideas for me?



The latest on the Go Red for Women Better U front was an early morning of playing dress up at Macy's. Five women with free reign in a department store before it even opened! We got to try on a bunch of clothes and just act silly for a video they are making for the luncheon. Then they shuttled us to the Estee Lauder counter to have our make up done so we could have photos taken for the luncheon program. Too bad I had to go straight to my workout with "Father" Kyle, the trainer, and sweat off my beautiful painted face!



Charlie's basketball team plays tonight. I am vowing to keep quiet -- even if I have to get out the duct tape. I think I scared some of the other mothers at the last game when my alter ego appeared.



Attenion iPhone users! I keep forgetting to mention this. Mike had an app made for me for the iPhone. You can download it free from the App Store. Just search "4th Frog." Then you can have my posts and my tweets always at the ready! He said he thought it might be available for Blackberry users, but I'm not sure about that.



Finally, please keep Hope, a good friend's 3 year old, and Jeanne, Charlie's teacher's wife, in your prayers. They are both very, very sick and could use all the prayers we can offer.

Kicking my can all over the place

A little more than 3 weeks into the Better U challenge, I'm feeling like I could be in a Queen music video..."kicking your can all over the place!"

It's all good and I'm (gasp!) beginning to find that I enjoy the exercise. But just when I start to feel victorious about being able to go for 40 minutes on the treadmill, the trainers over at Life Time Fitness hand me a new challenge that reminds me how far I have to go.

This week's? The innocuous-sounding "group workout." Read about how I fared over at the Better U blog.

Truth be told

The thing about blogging is that I owe it to readers -- and to myself -- to talk about the good, the bad and the ugly. So that's what I've done on the Better U and Fit City blogs this week, owning up to my weekend:

Fit City: How well do you bounce?

BetterU: Confession

Oh, it's nothing tragic. Just a bump in the road. But it's my reality and I'm owning it.

Does anxiety burn calories?

For my thoughts on meeting the personal trainer for the first time, visit the Go Red Better U Challenge blog.

Friday Fragments: Who needs a title anyway?

Time once again for Friday Fragments, courtesy of Mrs.4444. Check out her site for more editions of FF. Thanks to Mrs.4444 for also following the BetterU blog!

Oops! I was in such a hurry to get this post finished, I published it without a title. Hence, the title it now has.

Missed Milestone: I didn't realize when I posted last week's Friday Fragments on New Year's Eve that it was my 300th post for the year. What a great number to end on! 300 posts in one year. I think that's pretty cool!

What was she thinking?! The building where I work houses a community health and dental clinic. While I'm sure that plenty of the folks who bring their kids in there are terrific parents, there are some who make you want to shake your head (or call CPS). Earlier this week, as I walked toward the building, all bundled up because it was 13 degrees with windchills below zero, I saw a woman standing outside smoking. At her feet was her baby, small enough to still be in a car seat. In below zero weather! Outside! Just so mom could grab a smoke! Nice...

As seen on TV: EggCracker. Really? Does anyone honestly need a $19.95 gadget to crack eggs? If you've got $20 bucks to spend on an egg cracker, I can help you spend your money in better ways.

Then there is Heeltastic. Now this, I'm seriously interested in. My feet are horrid (I'll spare you the pictures). You know that scene in Dumb and Dumber where they take a power sander to the guy's toenails? My heels are that way. When I go to those cheapie nail places, the tech usually takes one look at my heels and the Asian chatter is suddenly flying. I just know they are talking about my gnarly feet. So has anyone used Heeltastic? Does it really work?

Fat Jillian? I saw Jillian Michaels on Jay Leno this week. She said she was a fat kid -- about 175 pounds at 5'3". I'd love to be that "fat." And I'd love to see her fat pictures.

Snow charm: When the 4" of snow we received were only a twinkle in the forecasters' eyes, I had two different people tell me that their kids were wearing their jammies inside out to bring on the snow. I've never heard of this before. Is this some new folklore -- maybe concocted by some morning radio team? Or have I been missing out? Because if it's for real, I'll be wearing my jammies inside out more often!

Speaking of the radio: I need to wrap this up because I'm due downtown to tape my "heart story" for B105.7 radio. From February 1-5, the radio station will be playing "Stories from the Heart" as part of a fundraiser for the American Heart Association. This year, they've invited each of us Better U challengers to participate as well. (In other Better U media-related news, Mike thinks he can pull my television appearance off the DVR and upload it. If he can, I'll be sure to post it.)

Toward a Better ME

Check out my new post on the Better U blog. I have good news to share!

Do you know where your trainer is?

My trainer is apparently at Life Time Fitness. I'm waiting to hear from him or her. The general manager contacted us (the 5 Better U challengers) today to ask a few basic questions in order to match us up with a trainer:

1.) Do you prefer a male trainer, female trainer or it doesn't matter? -- Doesn't matter

2.) What are your most preferred days that you'd be able to meet with a trainer?

i. Friday

ii. Saturday

iii. Wednesday

3.) Is there a time of day that works better for you to workout with your trainer? - Mornings

4.) Do you have any limitations when participating in physical activity? You mean other than my basic physical and mental aversion to sweating and heavy breathing unless it occurs in the privacy of my own bedroom? Oh, then no.

And do you know where the two most famous trainers are? That's right, folks. Bob and Jillian -- NBC TONIGHT at 8pm EST! I might actually try to exercise during the commercial breaks this season. Do any of you do that? What kind of commercial workouts do you do?

Pit stop

Hey folks! I have time for just a quick check-in tonight. School starts back up tomorrow -- lunches to be made, socks and underwear to be thrown into the dryer, checks to be written, basketball and volleyball carpools to contemplate. You know the drill.

Plus, the Better U challenge officially gets underway tomorrow too. I had a chance to be on the WISH-TV morning news today with Dee Leonard, another challenger, talking about the program. (Don't get me started on "Do I really look like that?!")

Check out the Better U widget in my sidebar and consider joining me in this effort. Also, check out my latest post on the Indy GoRed BetterU blog. You'll see that I'm still counting on rendezvousing with Denzel every morning, which means I really MUST get to bed now.

Catch up with you tomorrow!

Friday Fragments: New Year's Edition

Thanks again to Mrs. 4444 for hosting Friday Fragments. To participate -- or to read more Friday Fragments, click the button above.

Happy New Year! Charlie and I rang it in together. Annie was babysitting for my niece. Mike and Robbie had fallen asleep before the stroke of midnight. I would have gone to bed myself, but Charlie was so excited to watch the ball drop that it made me want to stay up with him.

Tomorrow, we're hosting my family here for our traditional New Year's Day dinner of cabbage rolls, sauerkraut and mashed potatoes.

After a month of prep appointments and tests, the Better U challenge is all set to begin. With an official start date of Monday, January 4, the blog is up and running and I've been asked to be on the Sunday morning news with another challenger to discuss the opportunity. Guess I need to be looking for a red outfit that doesn't make me look too fat!

Mike and I spent today cleaning up the basement which had gotten embarrassingly out of hand. I may have been willing to show you pictures of my horribly messy closet, but even I drew the line at a public display of the disgrace that was the basement! But no more. It's awesome. And the kids felt like it was Christmas all over again because we unearthed so many toys that they'd forgotten about. Even so, we still gave away a huge bag of toys and threw away two large bags of trash as well.

2010 will get off to a fun start when I take the whole crew to see the Harlem Globetrotters in Indianapolis in a few weeks. I checking out the ticket prices when online when I saw something about a blogging discount. So I e-mailed the folks at Coyne Public Relations to ask about it. Turns out they are offering a $7 discount* off tickets and just for telling you all about it (and blogging about it on the Indiana Insider blog), they've offered my family free tickets and a chance to meet some of the Globetrotters!

To get your discount tickets -- no matter where you live -- simply visit www.harlemglobetrotters.com, to locate a game near you and purchase tickets using the promotional code: HGMOM to redeem the offer. *Please note that the discount is not valid on VIP or courtside seats. Tickets must be purchased online. Discount tickets are available until the day before the show.

Happy Friday everyone!

No resolutions here

Thanks to Just Heather, I've found a way around traditional New Year's resolutions. Anytime I've made resolutions in the past, they've seemed like wispy puffs of hope thrown up into the universe, dissolving into little bits before they even float back down to earth.

Instead of resolutions, Heather made a 2010 to do list. Now that I can do. Very specific, reasonable actions on a list that can be triumphantly crossed off as they are accomplished. So without any further delay, away we go:

Amy's 2010 To Do List

1. Go on a vacation (even just a weekend) with my husband.
2. Make a prioritized list of all the home improvement/fix-it projects that I'd like to do. Start and finish at least 3 things on the list.
3. Take a yoga class.
4. Read one "parenting" book for each of my children.
5. Create a livable system for organizing -- and using -- coupons.
6. Buy a roll of stamps and use it to send letters and cards to let family and friends know I'm thinking of them.
7. Throw/give away socks that have no matches.
8. Go to Holiday World at least once. (We didn't make it last year and the kids were disappointed.)
9. Get a pedicure.
10. Clean out the basement storage room.
11. Go to Eucharistic Adoration once each month.
    

So there it is. I know 11 is an odd number. What can I say? I'm an overachiever? Or at least a hopeless optimist? Some of the items will be easier than others, which is ok. Most of them, I can control. A few I'll need some assistance with, which is also ok.

Notice that there's nothing there about exercise or weight loss? Obviously, given my involvement in the Better U challenge, those things will be a part of my life. But I feel like they're already in motion. Plus, they seemed a little New Year's cliche to put on the list. So I left them off. But rest assured, Denzel and I are in good standing and I have high hopes -- I mean, I am determined -- to arrive at the February 26 Go Red for Women luncheon leaner and healthier than I am today.

Now to print out my 2010 To Do List (in triplicate would be good) and post it in places where I can be reminded of it (and be held accountable to it) often.

Do you make resolutions? Does an annual To Do list appeal to you? What's on yours?

Denzel

Denzel is tall and dark.

Denzel is the strong and mostly silent type.

Denzel gets me all hot and bothered.

Meet Denzel:

It's unofficial

Today was my appointment with the cardiologist for the Better U challenge. Though the 12 weeks of the challenge doesn't officially start until January 1, 2010, as far as Dr. Branyas is concerned it's all systems go from here on out.

All in all, the appointment went well. Dr. Branyas spent a lot of time with me, going over my blood work and discussing my lifestyle habits that need a little, shall we say, tweaking (ok, overhauling).

The good news:

1. My EKG was normal.
2. My blood pressure was only mildly high.

The bad news:

1. My good cholesterol is low.
2. My bad cholesterol is high.
3. My C-reactive protein, which is associated with inflammation that can lead to clogging of the arteries, is almost 3 times what it should be. Dr. Branyas said that 60% of their open heart patients have high bad cholesterol and high CRP.

The hard to swallow news:

1. I need to lose 47 pounds just to be considered "overweight" and not the other "o" word.

Wow. That one was like a punch in the oversized gut. Trust me, I'm well aware of my size and my weight. But looking at it in that way was really a wake up call.

I talked with the good doctor about my food vices -- sugar and fried foods. She said she's never, NEVER, eaten at McDonald's and that once she went into one to use the bathroom and she was sickened by the smell of the oil in the air.

Are you kidding me? That's one of the best parts of McDonald's -- the smell of french fries getting all crispy, soaking up all that offensive oil. But Dr. Branyas assured me that soon I'll find it just as wretched as she does.

When she asked me what I usually order -- a #3 with a Diet Coke, I proudly told her that I always ask for them to only put 1 slice of cheese on my quarter pounder instead of two. Amazingly, Dr. Branyas was underwhelmed by this information.

Then she asked about my exercise routine. I knew it would come to this.

"Oh, I walk about 6 times a day -- from my office to the printer about 100 feet down the hall."

I admitted that I own an elliptical machine and it's located just 24 short stairs from my bedroom. That's when Dr. Branyas laid down the new law. Exercise. Every day. In the morning. Before the shower.

"Tell yourself that you cannot get in the shower until you've exercised," she advised.

Little did she know that not showering might not be such a big threat. I was sitting in her office, after all, unshowered. What can I say? I was running a little behind schedule this morning.

But I agreed. Elliptical before shower. Daily. 10 minutes a day to start is all she asked. That can't be too difficult, right?

So I've decided that since I'm going to be spending so much time with this contraption, the elliptical should have a name. My first thought was Jillian.

I posed the question on Facebook and got Attila and Torture. A few other people took the tack of naming it something more appealing, like Patrick Dempsey, George Clooney and McSteamy. Not a bad idea - spending time with a Hollywood hottie every morning doesn't sound so awful.

But I still haven't settled on anything. Maybe I'll give it a spin tomorrow and see if a name comes to me. And I'm open to your suggestions, so please, lay 'em on me.

The rest of the appointment went well. Dr. Branyas said she expects that by the Go Red for Women luncheon on February 26, I will have lost 20 pounds. (Really?!) I left the office armed with lots to read, a new cookbook and a fast food guide, feeling hopeful, slightly overwhelmed and inexplicably craving McDonald's.

Heartfelt inspiration

It's not a holiday story. Well, it is a Holladay story.

It's a real life story - one that starts in tragedy and ends in hope. And it was written by my Better U co-challenger Ruth Holladay. Check it out here (article titled "Straight from the Heart).

If you are here from Ruth's blog and want to read my thoughts on the Better U opportunity, check out these entries:

• Be Still My Heart
• Going Red
  

Going Red

The kick-off breakfast for the American Heart Association's "Go Red for Women Better U Challenge" was yesterday. I have to admit that I was a little nervous, wondering what the heck I've gotten myself into. I tried to distract my nerves by obsessing over choosing the right red outfit to wear.

I opted against buying something new and went with a red knit top and skirt with a scarf. It worked just fine, even if I did look a bit like a juicy tomato. When I arrived at the breakfast, I was greeted warmly and got a chance to meet the other four challengers. Ruth, Kimila, Dee and Jessica.

Ruth declared herself the "senior member" of the group. She is a former columnist for the Indianapolis Star and has a blog you can read here. Kimila is tall and skinny as a bean pole, claiming genetics as the reason for her svelte figure. But she is hoping to adopt healthy habits (she said "sometimes I forget to eat;" I didn't mention that sometimes I forget to stop), including quitting smoking.

The first thing I noticed about Dee is how beautiful she is. I don't know what they'll do with her at the skin center, because her skin is flawless already. At 26 years old, she's hoping to lower her BMI and get her husband to share this new lifestyle with her. Jessica, I can tell, is a hoot. She is also passionate about changing her life. She'll be 50 this year, which shocked me. I had her pegged for about 35. I hope over the next few months, we'll all get to spend some time together and get to know each other better.

It turns out that the chair of February's Go Red for Women luncheon is Sue Ann Gilroy, a good friend of Mike's aunt, mom and grandmother. I've met her before, so it was nice to see her familiar face in the room full of strangers. When she found out that I'm one of the challengers, she decided then and there that Mike's grandmother MUST buy a table at the luncheon. Ha! I'm sure Buck will love that!

Then we figured out that Sue Ann is on the board of the university where I work, so before I left, I heard her telling on the of the Heart Association people to send a letter to the president of the University, asking her to buy a table too. It was all quite serendipitous.

Shortly after I arrived, we were invited to get some breakfast and take our seats. I headed to the table where the continental breakfast was laid out -- bagels, fruit, fat free yogurt, and DONUTS! One of the challengers, Jessica, and I had a good laugh about that. Like this was our first challenge -- to pass up the donuts. Of course there was no way in a room full of cardiologists, dietitians, exercise gurus, etc. that I was going to go for a donut. Instead, Jessica snapped a picture with her cell phone (but hasn't been able to get it to email to me). I think we'll call that picture "The Donuts That Lived."

Each of us were invited to introduce ourselves and tell why we wanted to participate in this challenge. I refrained from blurting out "because this is the closest I'll ever get to being on the Biggest Loser" and instead said that I wanted to enter my 40s healthier -- and on fewer medications -- than I am now.

Then the "team" introduced themselves to us. Pretty much everyone was there -- gals from the Heart Association, the cardiologist and members of her staff, the "coaches" who are going to be our cheerleaders. Everyone except the personal trainers. Darn! Guess we'll have to wait a little longer for that.

Several people in the room talked about how brave we all are for taking on this challenge. How we're going to be so inspiring to the 600-900 people who will attend the Go Red for Women luncheon in February. Again, I began to sweat a little and wonder what in the heck I have gotten myself into.

The challenge officially starts January 1. But all the pre-work is going on now. Appointments with the cardiologist, blood tests, etc. And when one of the Heart Association women said we could enjoy turkey and pie over the holidays, the cardiologist was quick to jump in and say, "as far as I'm concerned, we're starting now." Ooops. No pie (or donuts, I guess).

Today, I had my heart scan. The test itself was easy. I laid on the table, arms over head, fully clothed. The table moved into the scan machine, about up to my chin, whirred for a few seconds, I held my breath and it was over.

I was more than a little afraid they would escort me straight from the scan into the OR to open some dangerously clogged artery of mine. But the tech brought me the results in about 10 minutes. My score was ZERO -- as in zero plaque in my arteries! Woohoo! If I'd known that, I would have eaten the donuts. (Instead, I treated myself to some hot chocolate and a peanut butter cookie to celebrate. These people have their work cut out with me, don't they?)

In the coming weeks, I'll be meeting with the cardiologist, having another facial peel and going for my video shoot (heaven help me!). I'd love for any of you to join the Better U challenge with me. Maybe we can motivate each other. Click the Better U link to the right for more info. And stay away from the donuts.

About face

I got a call last week from a doctor's office saying that they were participating in the American Heart Association Better U program and they wanted to schedule me for my consult. Ok. I was expecting the call. But what I wasn't expecting was a call from a plastic surgeon's office.

Whoa! Hold the phone people. I didn't agree to have anything cut off, nipped or tucked! As the person on the phone went on, I understood that this plastic surgeon also runs a skin and laser center. They are offering skin treatments to the five Better U women and will also be doing our makeup for the luncheon and fashion show in February.

So I made my appointment for the consultation and showed up at Phases last Wednesday night. I have to admit, I was a little apprehensive. I don't really like people touching my face. I remember when I was a kid, I saw a bumper sticker that said "If youa toucha my car, I'lla breaka your face." I'm more of the "If youa toucha my face, I'lla breaka your car" variety.

But, I decided to be adventurous. All this skin care service is free, so why not give it a shot? The people in the office could not have been nicer. Elissa, my aesthetician (that's fancy for "face gal") washed my face with some yummy smelling orange stuff and wrapped a warm towel under my chin and around my cheeks. I would have been happy for it all to end right there. It was so cozy, I could have fallen asleep!

However, Elissa had something else in mind. She trotted me out to her magic mirror -- aka the Visia camera -- that takes a picture of your skin and shows all the ugly truths. Sun damage lurking beneath the surface? Got it - plenty of it. Bacteria? Yep, that too. But I'm happy to say that I'm not too bad in the wrinkles department.

After facing the music of the Visia, Elissa took me to another room to photograph me, up close and personal like. Let's just say those pics will not end up in the family Christmas card. Hair pulled back, exposing all the white that is growing from my roots. No makeup and plenty of zoom on the the scars left over from the chicken pox when I was 13.

Back in the comfort of the room with the yummy orange face wash, Elissa explained to me all the stages of skin restoration. Her goal for me before the Go Red for Women luncheon in February is to remove some of that sun damage and give my face a renewed and more youthful glow. For a woman bumping up against 40, that doesn't sound like a bad thing.

So, I agreed to a series of three VI peels, one each month in November, December and January. Elissa swore to me that this will not hurt. I believe "tingling" is the word she used. But she did caution me that on day 3 after the peel, I won't want to go out in public much because that's the day that the "peel" part kicks into high gear.

As in my face will start shedding. "Molting," is what Elissa said. Like a snake. In fact, I got a pretty good visual when she said that if I have a big piece of skin hanging off my face, I shouldn't pull it, but should trim it with scissors.

And this is all supposed to help my heart, how? Ha ha! But I'm game. This Better U challenge is my time and if that time ends up helping me look a little prettier in the process, I won't argue with that.

My first peel is scheduled for this Wednesday. You know I'll be back here to dish about it -- and to share pictures of me as the amazing skin-losing lizard lady!